Thursday, April 24, 2008

We'll have a bowl celebrity mailbag: Glen Boss

With the Doncaster Handicap on the horizon, Glen Boss took the time out to answer some reader mail. It all gets a little candid, Thanks Bossy!

Mr Boss, What is the best horse that you have ridden?? {Kenny, 8 , Woolhara}

Great question Kenny, and a fucked question at the same time. Lets put this into perspective. Every horse that I have ridden was on its way to the glue factory before I got on their back... The horse that improved the most for me was Makybe Diva. Nothing horse that somehow won 3 Melbourne Cups! Fuck I'm good!

Bossinator! Great ride on Snitzel in the Magic Millions a couple of years ago you cockbag!!! {Captain Chaos, 28, Woodridge}

Snitzel was a shit horse you cock!!! It's best chance was to be five wide the trip... that's called riding for luck, like you would know that. When you are on a shitty $1.80 favourite, you need to get it out of traffic. When you are closest to the outside, you can here the crowd shouting, BOSSY! BOSSY!

Mr Boss, how do you manage to ride at 51kg?? I am 9 and weigh that now. {Maurice, 9, Bribie Island}

Wow you are a little fatty-mcfat-fat! Seriously, fat kids are the most disgusting thing in the world to me. First thing I would do for you is chop your leg off and make me some glue!!!
Anyway, big fella, to make my usual race weight of 51kg, I rely on a regime of diet and exercise. I eat nothing but glory and shit nothing but awesomeness!!! I also run a lot. I have to make a weight of 51kg for the Doncaster on the weekend and that will require me to pull out all the stops!!! For that, I typically need to rely on an enema. Good for the weight, and the other benefit is that you feel like you have been passed around by a group of black marines! Ah, marines, they know how to work your sphincter. I hope that answers your questions you big butterball.

Bossy, I have a plaque, years supply of spam and a nut kicking with your name all over it for winning Schrutebag of the week. Where can I give this to you?? {Professor Chaos, 27, Bondi}

I have enough trophies.. cause I am a winner. I can't eat Spam on my diet, and I only like being kicked in the testicles as foreplay. So pass.

How do you score such good rides when everyone seems to think you are a cockbag??? {JB, 27, Charleville}

This interview is over. Everyone loves the Bossinator!! Bossy! Bossy! Bossy!

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