Thursday, June 24, 2010

Just What NSW Needs

Perusing the Foxsports website, I was just blown away reading this. Seriously, the fucking hide of the man. After being a major part of the downfall of the Blues, seriously, is this guy fucking for real?!

The inspiration behind the Country tilt...

Daley has steered Country to a brilliant one win, one draw and one loss record, which is just great considering they start warm favourites and have home ground advantage every year. That's some serious Origin coaching credentials right there. If NSWRL, after their "comprehensive review", come to the conclusion that Daley is the man for the job...well, I guess that wouldn't surprise me at all these days...

Monday, June 21, 2010

Seeing Red

During my daily dump, something didn't feel ass was turned out that I'd passed out two red cards that have been recently rammed up my Aussie ass. We've been f'd in the a by FIFA refs again, and what's more, by Italians again:

Try a yellow card and a penalty you fucking Italian fucker drama queen.

The equation doesn't change for the boys. We have to beat Serbia. It's looking likely we'll have to do this with 10 men going on recent FIFA fucktard trends. Now we have to also rely on other results. We qualify with a win and Ghana somehow beating Germany. I am flabbergasted that a team as shit as Ghana is topping the group. We dominated them despite playing with 10 for nearly 70 minutes. They've done absolutely fucking nothing except knock in two penalties. So maybe it's more likely that Germany give them an absolute flogging and help us overcome a goal difference of 5. Either way, we'll take it. It would feel more right if Ghana got some come-uppance, rather than more penalties, for their all round garbage display at this Cup. JB is running conspiracy theories by me, claiming that FIFA want the Africans teams to do well, and that has a lot to do with Ghana mind-bogglingly topping the group. Perhaps he's onto something. We just need some hard evidence JB; like some photos of Blatter copping some under the table action...

There's still hope...and all I can think about is how much sweeter it will be if with get through, despite repeated reamings...Go Socceroos!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Analysis Of A Nightmare


There's one thing for certain after the horror show against Germany. You can never trust a greasy haired motherfucker:

Fucking card-slinging, slicked-back-haired mofo. Red card indeed you fucking cocksucker.

There's no way that is a red card in any competition in the world. So now we are missing our best player for the must-win clash with Ghana because of this fucking clown. And because FIFA don't have the common sense to have a review panel for fucked calls like this. The World Cup is supposed to be the best players, teams, and you'd like to think, the best officials. Marco Rodriguez is clearly not one of these. What's more, he is an environmental hazard:

A stricken bird rescued from the oil slick on top of Rodriguez' head.

For Germany's first goal, Klose was in an offside position, enough to get defenders interested. That is offside, even if someone else scores. So fuck you too Mr. Anonymous Fucker Linesman.

Everyone in sundry has panned the Pimp. And maybe it wasn't the most attacking line-up that he went with, but seriously, our midfield was virtually non-existent. It was like the autobahn through the middle of the park. They were nothing but passengers, which makes it tough when you have an aging back four. Moore and Chipperfield were awful in defense, particularly Moore. He looked like a guy who is club-less and whose last gig was in the A-League; that is, totally out of his depth. Chipperfield has lost more than a yard of pace and is just too slow tracking back. Say what you will about the Pimp's decision to play a lone striker but Garcia was one of our best. With our midfielders and defenders getting smashed, the rare occasions he got near the ball he looked lively. I would however suggest that he might have been a bit more dangerous circling around a certain beanpole.

Where to now? It's certainly not time to throw in the towel, especially after the bumfuck of a game between Ghana and Serbia that preceded. They both showed nothing to have us shaking in our boots and quite frankly, if they dish up that shit against Germany, they'll suffer the same fate as us. We have to beat them both, and without Cahill, that means Kewell and Bresciano must play, actually they must start, even if they're not 100% fit. Surely Moore has to be replaced. Maybe Beauchamp gets a run there. I'll give Chippers another chance so long as he's on a strict sprint training regime this week. But I re-iterate, Kewell and Bresciano must start or else I will also join the chorus of fans cursing the Pimp.

Just remember, in Germany '06 Ukraine got pumped 4-0 by Spain in their first match but still qualified for the knockout stages, even though they were absolute rubbish. They even went on to the quarter finals if you can believe that! Surely the most terrible team to ever do so. Australia at full strength are definitely not that bad. It's not over yet people! Go the Socceroos! Show us some ticker boys!


This campaign for the NSW Blues has just been a balltearer of a nightmare. We've now picked a side for game 2, which funnily enough, might have given us a real chance to win game 1. It's lose-lose for Blues fans. We lose the game and it's five straight. We win the game and the selectors and Bellamy are all over that win like a dirty rash in the nether regions. Pencil them in for another five years of fucking torture. The worst thing about the continuous fuck-ups at the selection table is Laurie Daley trying to justify them every week on Foxsports. Spare me fucking days.

"Look we know Jamie Lyon hates playing five-eighth but we thought he could do a job there. You've got to be able to adapt in Origin. Jamie will learn from that. The players just didn't step up which was disappointing. We thought we picked a great team but the players were just so disappointing and didn't step up and just couldn't adapt to foreign positions. When you pull on a Blues jersey, you've got to expect the unexpected and adapt, do a job, and step up".

How about you step down instead Loz? I've had enough of these fucking Johns brothers by the way. If it's not a gangbang, it's popping pingers, or racial slurs.

I'll always support the Blues players, except of course for the ones that are shithouse. They know who they are Josh Perry. Even the selectors agreed with me on that one! So hopefully they muscle up, and win or lose, go some knuckle and general off-the-ball thuggery!

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Meet Your World Cup Groups: GROUP D!!!


I love Germany:


And I very much hope to go back there one day:

Picture perfect...a stein of my favourite beer in the world, Radeberger Pilsner.

Which is why I was a bit disappointed when we drew them. I would have preferred an Italy for some revenge, or Uruguay, this time for a stoush actually in the World Cup! But there you go, we have Germany. In qualifying, the Germans didn't lose a game and conceded just 5 goals. But it's not all good for the Krauts; goalkeeper Nauer late last year was only battling for the 3rd-choice keeper spot, captain Ballack has been ruled out and there are form queries over striker pairing Klose and Gomez. Their strength here is the defensive unit of Lahm, Mertesacker, Friedrich Boateng and Badstuber. In the midfield Schweinsteiger and Trochowski are key players, but it's the youngster Ozil who's tipped to become the next superstar for the Germans. Up front there's Klose and Podolski who were both fantastic in Germany '06, Gomez, and waiting in the wings, Cacau and Kiessling (second top goalscorer in the Bundesliga last season). So it's going to be tough for the Socceroos, but not impossible...


Watching highlights of the Serbs in qualifying had me a bit worried, but New Zealand showed that perhaps we'll have the defensive game plan to frustrate them also. And even without a star striker, we have a lot more going forward than the Kiwis. Followers of the EPL will be very familiar with the defensive capabilities of Vidic and Ivanovic, so it's going to be tough to break them down. In the midfield they have new Liverpool signing Jovanovic and the veteran Stankovic, giving support to Sonofabic and Fuckoffyabic. Up forward they have a monster in the 2.02m Zigic:

Josh Kennedy = 194cm...And we thought we have a beanpole!

But if you can lose to the Sheep-Shaggers then you're easy meat for the Socceroos! Yes I'm drunk and full of bravado posting this, but I don't care, Go the Socceroos!!!


Ghana have also lost their captain, and for the Black Stars, this is a big deal. When Chelsea lost Essien mid-season, they looked lost. He's that good. And Ghana will miss him no end. If they really click, they have the potential to beat us by a couple of goals, but they don't click all that often. I think we can frustrate the hell out of Ghana and finish with a comfortable victory. All along I've thought that this is the game to target the maximum 3 points. Even without Essien, their strengths lie in the midfield with the likes of Appiah, Muntari and Asamoah. Gyan up front is dangerous and needs to be contained, but you know what, the drunker I get here, the more Ghana gets the wooden spoon in this group! Go the Socceroos!!!!!!


I have never wavered in my belief that we can get a result out of our first match with Germany. A lot of Australian football fans still have an inferiority complex towards their own team, but the fact is, we are world class. Sure a genuine striker would be nice, a bit more depth would be nice too, but if we get it right, we are capable of great things:

It's the perfect time for us to play the Germans, that is, in a situation where they are not facing elimination with a loss. We are certainly capable of beating Serbia and Ghana. The form of Cahill and Kewell will ultimately depend on how far we go, but I'll predict that we progress. Like Germany '06:

Good times people. Go the Socceroos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Prediction: Australia to absolutely smash this group (I've had a couple) and progress with Germany!

Group D

Match Date Venue Team 1 Team 2 Kick-off (AEST)
7 14 June Durban Germany Australia 04:30
8 14 June Tshwane/Pretoria Serbia Ghana 00:00
21 18 June Nelson Mandela Bay Germany Serbia 21:30
24 20 June Rustenburg Ghana Australia 00:00
39 24 June Johannesburg Ghana Germany 04:30
40 24 June Nelspruit Australia Serbia 04:30

Friday, June 11, 2010

For mine, a great Aussie song for the boys in South Africa - no Shakira shaking it but 100% Australian

Love that 'doo throughout the song. Makes me miss the Dukes big time.


Okay, its Shakira, so two points :

1. The song isn't really my thing
2. But its Shakira, so you know I would do her

Although I will give some credit to the video clip (the football scenes anyway, and I'm sure some of the clips of Christiano Ronaldo are taken from his fucking Castrol T.V ads), I will pass on something I was told long ago, adding waka waka waka after a joke dosn't make you a comedian - I wonder if it makes a song writer?

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Meet Your World Cup Groups: Group H


Obviously one of the main chances to win the World Cup in South Africa, and, as such, will take care of this lot. They are deserving Cup favourites but I just have this feeling that they'll fall short. Whether they can go all the way or not, the one thing that's for sure is that you'll want to watch all their games. Torres and Villa up front. Service from Xavi, Iniesta, Fabregas and Alonso. Guys almost as good on the bench. Should be good fun people. And they clearly have the most versatile squad, which optimises their chances of taking home the Cup. In fact, the more I think about this squad, the more I think they are going to win the whole tournament. At the start of this paragraph I had the feeling that they'd fall just short...but upon closer inspection, and with some of their cracking goals in qualifying playing in the background here on Destination South Africa, well I've changed my mind. They can totally win it all. As for this group, they could probably sneak through it with all the players they've left at home...

Another party bus tour for the Spaniards?!?


I still haven't forgiven the Swiss for their part in the worst World Cup match I've ever seen and am ever likely to see, that being the footballing disgrace that was Switzerland vs Ukraine (round of 16, Germany 2006). Neither team even remotely tried to win in the most negative and unattractive football match I've ever seen. Period. And then they lost the penalty shootout 3-0. A total softcock performance. To think if we had of got past Italy, that Ukraine was waiting to be thrashed......anyway, where was I? Ah yes, the Professor loathes Switzerland with a passion for charging him $20AU for a McValue Meal. The Swiss qualified top in their European group ahead of Greece but since then have managed just one draw from 4 home games. I'm not expecting much from them, they'll probably look upon their clash with Honduras as winnable but I see Spain and Chile being far too strong. Players to watch are striker and captain Alexander Frei and staunch defender Phillipe Senderos.


A team who may be a bit under-rated heading into the Cup but not by myself. Finishing 2nd in South American qualifying means they are a serious football side and one that could go deep into the business end of the tournament if they get hot, pardon the pun. Chilean football is probably best known for the Roberto Rojas Scandal, where goalkeeper Rojas faked that he been hit with a firework, cut up his face with a razor concealed in his glove, was ordered by his coach to stay on the field until dramatically stretchered off, which led to his team being ordered off the field by their captain. A false medical report was then submitted by their phony team doctor. The point of this fanciful and desperate charade was to avoid losing to Brazil in a World Cup qualifier, a result that would have knocked Chile out of contention, and basically to get Brazil sanctioned for the fireworks "attack" sending Chile to the Cup. It backfired spectacularly with them effectively being booted out of any possible participation in the 1990 and 1994 World Cups, and life bans all round. Anyways, they are back on the big stage and my tip is that they'll be joining Spain in the knockout stages. While they may not be household names yet, players to watch are Arturo Vidal, Mattias Fernandez, Mark Gonzalez, Humberto Suazo and Alexis Sanchez.


Tottenham star Wilson Palacios has a great attitude going into the World Cup: "It doesn't hurt to dream". And by dreaming, he doesn't just mean dreaming of the second round, he means winning the World Cup...Joining Palacios in Mission Impossible is evergreen 36 year old striker Carlos Pavon, who was Honduras' leading goalscorer in qualifying. Pavon is pretty old but spare a thought for Hendry Thomas:

How old is this guy? 40? 50? Only 25 actually...

Honduras are a handy team, who hopefully will have a real crack and punish the Swiss for their over-priced McValue meals, but I fancy that Chile will get the better of them and the dream will still be just that...

PREDICTION: Spain and Chile to progress.

Group H

Match Date Venue Team 1 Team 2 Kick-off (AEST)
15 16 June Nelspruit Honduras Chile 21:30
16 17 June Durban Spain Switzerland 00:00
31 22 June Nelson Mandela Bay Chile Switzerland 00:00
32 22 June Johannesburg Spain Honduras 04:30
47 26 June Tshwane/Pretoria Chile Spain 04:30
48 26 June Mangaung/Bloemfontein Switzerland Honduras 04:30

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Meet Your World Cup Groups: Group G


The best of the African teams despite being only the third ranked African side, and will battle with Portugal for a place in the last 16. They'll play some attractive football no doubt, but not much of that will be in defense, despite having Eboue and Kolo Toure at the back. Expect them to let in a couple of sloppy goals. Up front there's Drogba, who despite making a case for being the best striker in the world, is a massive, massive diver.

For club,

and country...

Joining the party up front is Chelsea team-mate Kalou who is coming off a pretty good season of his own. It's always fun watching the Elephants, but you wouldn't really ever want your money on them to go really deep in a World Cup, particularly when they have to knock over Brazil or Portugal in the group stages.


Another team at South Africa 2010 with some depth in their talent stocks, Portugal were far from convincing in qualifying and in a recent friendly against Cape Verde.

In case you'd never heard of it either, that's Cape Verde in the middle of nowhere there...

With attacking players like Ronaldo, Simao, Deco and Nani, and with quality defenders in Carvalho, Ferreira and Alves, it's hard to understand how they could make football look difficult at times. Like France though, they seem to get their shit sorted when there's a World Cup on. The match against Cote d'Ivoire decides who's going also has the potential to be one of the matches of the tournament if Portugal come to the party.


Despite North Korea's strong history in World Cups where star striker Kim Jong-Il scored many goals against Brazil and the likes, they are gonna get f'd in the a big time here. Kim Jong-Il later went on to win the British Masters and the F1 Driver's Championship too according to North Korean folklore:

Kim Jong-Il prepares for the Wimbledon final...

But without him, they are going to suffer death by football skillz three times over. That is all. They'll be feeling like this after the Cup:


I don't need to tell you that Brazil are the business. Everyone knows that. They'll win this group and are my tip to win the tournament. And not because they are Brazil and score a lot of goals. They also have a strong defensive unit led by the beastly Lucio, along with his Inter team-mates Maicon and goalkeeper Julio Cesar. The goals will come from Fabiano and Robinho, assisted by the likes of Kaka, Melo, Baptista and Elano. They have incredible depth at every position; when you can leave Ronaldinho out of the squad, and Gomes, who was absolutely heroic for Tottenham last season, can only make back-up You'd be thinking they'd be keen to atone for the un-Brazilian rubbish campaign that was Germany 2006, and I shudder to think what they are going to do to North Korea in this group. They are gonna royally f them in the a. Ouch.

PREDICTION: Brazil to win the group and Portugal's big tournament experience to sneak them past Cote d'Ivoire. Drogba to dive his way to the "most dives in the group stages" category.

Group G

Match Date Venue Team 1 Team 2 Kick-off (AEST)
13 16 June Nelson Mandela Bay Ivory Coast Portugal 00:00
14 16 June Johannesburg Brazil North Korea 04:30
29 21 June Johannesburg Brazil Ivory Coast 04:30
30 21 June Cape Town Portugal North Korea 21:30
45 26 June Durban Portugal Brazil 00:00
46 26 June Nelspruit North Korea Ivory Coast 00:00