Tuesday, May 27, 2008

WHAB Olympic Games Preview: Athletics (Field)

Athletics field is a bit of a short straw I guess. The joys of Hammer throw, Shot put and Discus are probably best experienced with my Wii remote. Australia has had some success in the field events over the past few Olympic games. This time should be no different. Who can forget the pole vaulting excellence of the increasingly mannish Tatiana Gregorieva?? Who can forget the fighting 7th by Justin Anlezark in the mens shot put at Athens??? You. Okay. I actually did some research and that looks like our best field result from Athens. The three athletics medals were in the women's relay, and the 20km walks. Walking?? What the fuck is walking an olympic sport for? My Dad walks really fast. He has these fancy shiny walking tracksuit pants (matches my mum's) and they go out on these brisk old person walks. That is gay. They give medals out for this. Where's the love for my old man? Say what you want about walking, there seems to be more overtaking there than in the F1s.

Anyway, we can kind of assume that the field events will throw some decent viewing at times, but nothing that will glue us to our screens in the way that Archery or Judo can.

Australia's best medal hope appears to be in the Pole Vault, with Steve Hooker a good chance in the mens and Kym Howe a good chance in the womens event. Sure to be compelling viewing if you are into the pole. I know JB is.

Will do my best to come up with 10 good reasons to watch athletics field (only 8, wish I was high):

8. Hammer throwers make me feel like a serious athlete.

7. Feels like your primary school sports day all over again. Watching Aussies get their asses handed to them makes it feel like your primary school sports day all over again.

6. The Decathlon. There are always mediocre athletes that slip through into the games. Watching them be medicore in everything from 100m sprints to the Shot Put to the Hammer throw is awesome. No mercy in the Decathlon.

5. Staying with my favourite field event, the decathlon: It is heaps of fun watching one of the lean decathletes who dominate the 100 metre sprint get their asses handed to them in the hammer throw.

4. Wondering what this years miracle drug is... What will the Chinese be injecting into themselves this year. Shaved Tiger Penis? An aphrodesiac and makes you run faster. Go CHINA!

3. Maths geeks like me get half a fat over the
decathlon scoring system. Makes Duckworth/Lewis look like little bitches.

2. Do you dig big Girls???? There will be plenty of large lasses on display to get your fetish juices into a frenzy in the hammer throw! Motor Boat that, Biatch!

1. Lesley Brannan, who throws that stereotype out the window.

If I covered this shit, I better see a lot of Walking in that Track post.

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