Friday, May 16, 2008

Beijing games preview: Archery

With the Beijing Olympics around the corner, here at WHAB we are going to be putting up some previews (in alphabetical order!) of all of the sports. I am going to get the ball rolling with Archery. If I win our punting challenge this weekend, you can guarantee that Mr No Post McJb will be writing our next preview: Artistic Gymnastics.

Anyway, onwards to our first preview.

What do I know about Archery??? Well, I believe that it is played with a bow and arrow and what looks like a manzier or "bro." I also know that it is nigh on impossible to win archery on the classic "Mario and Sonic at the olympics" on the Wii. There ends my archery knowledge. I hope you learned something. According to the Australian Olympic Archery website, Australia is seeking a medal in the sport for the third consecutive Olympic games. I did not know that. Right now, I couldn't care if we do reach that goal. By Olympics time, schooner in hand i will probably be cheering on the Australian Icon, Tim "Manboobs" Cuddihy as he strives to improve his result of bronze at the Athens games.

Showing the Australian spirit, Tim "Manboobs" Cuddihy shows off his Australian Manzier and Chappel era hat! Go Manboobs!!!

Archery seems to be a sport dominated by the Koreans. Good work Korea. Seriously, what kind of childhood obesity epidemic would this country face if we had our kids specialise in the sports that Korea dominates. Archery, Table Tennis, Purchasing Hello Kitty products. At least you can have a beer or two with Table Tennis.

Winner of Gold at Athens Sung Hyun PARK shows that this is a sport with something for the fellas.

Anyway, unless Manboobs brings Australia some Olympic glory, you won't see much Archery at the games. Hopefully. Anyway, for most of these previews I will give a "top 10 reasons to watch." I will try to come up with four here. Even that took me some lateral thinking.

4. A gold medal winner wearing a Winnie the Pooh top. At the Olympics. I think that this is a violation of the sponsorship rules at the olympics. Probably some sort of subliminal "EAT HONEY" message.

3. Dennis Lillee Hats! Why do we have to wait for Archery to see hats like this?? Because you're BORING Ricky Ponting.

2. Manziers!

1. The hope that they allow someone of Eddie the Eagle quality compete. Eddie the Eagle only risked injuring himself. A crap archer could take out a fan. OR Maybe a Channel 7 commentator. Oh please let it be the bald patronising bastard David Koch. Please Santa???? Either that or I have to keep training my Assassin Zoolander style. Fortunately there is someone just about stupid enough for the job.

I'm a genius TOOVES, I just invented a double quarter pounder with CHEESE.

Archery: So HOT right now.

1 comment:

Captain Carnage said...

You should call it a half pounder!