Thursday, August 21, 2008

Chow Mein Episode 2

Having been pissed and watching EPL all Saturday night, I missed the men's 100m final and went searching on youtube. I clicked on a promising looking Usain "In The Membrane" Bolt video only to be told "You've been Rick-Rolled Bitch!!!" and greeted with Rick Astley's gay anthem "Never Gonna Give You Up". I'll pay that.

The Captain has been on fire on the Games punt, having a piece of the Boomers at $5.25 to roll Lithuania (and how) and hitting them with 31.5 points start against the U.S (with 0.5 to spare!). A last minute bet on Bolt to break the 200m world record at $4 also worked a treat.

It's pretty scary wondering just how fast Usain "In The Membrane" can go. To try and find out, my touch football team has an "annual" (usually every three years by the time it's organised) foot race, a la the Stawell Gift, which we'll be inviting him to. "Free piss for the winner" probably won't be enough for him to accept, but maybe the possibility of another WR might appeal. Being a handicap, Bolt's staggered start will be a block away, he'll need to swim across a pond, rescuing a drowning child in the process, scale a large fence (possibly electric), fight off a pack of ferocious guard dogs, before picking his way through a field of slow/old/fat/drunk/tackled and sprawled on the ground runners blocking his path to the finish line. Bolt has been installed as $1.02 favourite.

After crossing the line third in the 200m, Wallace Spearmon did a lap of the stadium with the American flag held aloft and found every camera on the way, telling everyone back home "I'm number three baby. You know what I'm talkin' 'bout. Ooh yeah baby, that's right, number three". He finished his lap before being told he'd been disqualified about five minutes earlier...

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