2008 George Main Stakes, Mentality

This was an insane market. I need to remember that this blogs aim here is to give some spring guidance - not for me to gloat about my big win.

Anyway, how WFA superstars like Ashikaga, Triple Honour and Gallant Tess come in well shorter than Mentality is beyond me. In Handicap conditions at this point, Mentality is gone. However, WFA horses in Sydney are few and far between. Racing to Win and Mentality are pretty much alone there. Triple Honour is a doncaster winner - true. However, he won that with 50 kg on his back. Add another 8 kilos and see how the Randwick mile swallows you now BOSSY!

Anyway, as for the rest of the spring, you can't overstate the case that this is WFA and the rest of your spring will be littered with handicap races. Theseo will come in really well under those conditions, as will Gallant Tess. They are two horses I would be wanting to follow based on this. Mentality could pop up again but he will find it harder when he is the only horse lugging that kind of weight.

2008 JRA Cup, Cefalu

The Valleys claim more of my money.
Ceffalu? Are you joking?? Glad the races weren't on channel 9 so I didn't have to listen to O'Donnell's crap. Devil Moon is becoming a non-winner. I thought that Casual Pass was the best bet in this field and 150 out from home he looked like the Valley Turn ate him up as it has eaten many a horse.

The only interesting run here for your spring is fast future. Came from wide last and made one hell of a run to finish 5th.

Maybe Better has drifted in the market since this race. A race he was hit quite hard in. Things to think about: 1) Mayfield Smith wasn't setting Maybe Better for the JRA cup. How many times do you have to hear Mayfield Smith say "I only want to win one race" before you believe him? 2) If you took the $8 on offer on Maybe Better, that's noones fault but your own. 3) After Maybe Better is not even shaken up, he makes a little run - not the eye catcher from last time but he wasn't asked to make a run this time. 4) He drifts to $31 for the Melbourne Cup based on this. Oh Glorious day!

Moral of this race: Don't give up on Casual Pass, don't give up on Maybe Better, Don't un-give up on Ceffalu, keep that run of Fast Future in your back pocket.

Bill Stutt Stakes

Carnero had little go right for it here, but hard to avoid the conclusion that Whobegotyou is set to be one of the three year old stars of the spring. Keep following here.

All American and Carnero were the only real quality opposition and both had excuses but hard to see the tables turning. Not sure if I would take the $2.80 in the Caulfield Guineas given that Time thief, Duporth and Lord Tavistock are lining up there.

NRL PRELIMINARY FINALS

Sharks vs Storm

After a miracle last-gasp loss, followed by a miracle last-gasp win, the Storm have now lost their captain Cameron Smith. A suspension was fair enough but the NRL can jam their loading system up their ass. Moving on, the Sharks have lost five eighth Brett Seymour, which could be almost on par with Melbourne's loss of Smith. Seymour has been the perfect fit for the Sharks at 6 and I think he'll be missed more than most realise. Thinking back to Major Turdler's stats, I tend to think that the week off won't help the Sharks. A lot of punters are labelling the Storm as vulnerable at the moment...others are just waiting for them to turn it on like we all know they can. We'll find out tonight. Sorry long-suffering Sharks fans, but I'm tipping the Storm.

Sea-Eagles vs Warriors

Rabs: "Welcome to Brookvale Oval, on this lovely evening, as the Sea-Eagles of Manly take on the sheep-shaggers from across the ditch, in the New Zealand Warriors". Ram-rooters or no, the Warriors are the worst possible match-up for Manly after their week off. NZ are on a roll; and try telling Price and Wiki that they can't win this game. The battle up front should be one of the highlights of the season. I hear a lot of people tipping Manly to go on to win the premiership and I hear a lot of their fans talking it up, almost cocky. The should look no further than this. Having myself a piece of the Warriors at $3.15.

A Message To The Referees And Touch Judges

Yeah, I'm talkin' to you.

I don't want to notice you. Stay the fuck out of the game unless it's absolutely necessary to involve yourself. Let it flow you homos.

Why don't you give him 10 in the bin for that too, you douchebag?

Should be two of the season's best contests. Fuck I love footy finals!

AFL GRAND FINAL!

It's fantastic that the two best teams in the AFL have successfully negotiated their way through to the Grand Final. The Western Bulldogs and St. Kilda couldn't have played any better than they did last week and, in all honesty, if one of those sides had of made it through, I would have been far less interested in the game. This has the prospect of being a classic. So here's what the punters at WHAB are predicting, consuming and pondering for the last Saturday in September.

Who will win?

Captain: I tip Geelong but not with overwhelming confidence. GF experience could be a factor.

Professor: I grew up watching my mighty navy Blues teams take these two sides apart in finals. However, I retain a massive hatred of the Hawks for the audacity they showed in winning one of the GFs that was rightly ours. I hated their clownish 80s teams of Brereton and Dunstall and Tuck. As such, go Cats.

Norm Smith Medallist?

Captain: I would be all over Paul Chapman at $15 but he is not 100% so looking for some more value. Cam Mooney is paying a juicy $34 and Cameron Ling is at $17.

Professor: A Geelong player. Don't come here for actual analysis. This is not my game.

Choice of beverage?

Captain: With an NRL Preliminary Final and another night of EPL action to follow, starting this early calls for the sugar and caffeine boost of Johnny Walker & Cola pre-mix.

Professor: Battling a stomach virus for the last week so if there is no change there some peppermint tea. If there is, I will be at the pub and it will be my favourite James Squire Golden Ale. Even the thought of that at the moment is making me pretty sick.

Snacks?

Captain: Red Rock Dijon Mustard and Honey chips.

Professor: Right now, thinking Salada. Again, without the explosive vomiting, I would be thinking of a nice $5 pub steak and chips with Pepper sauce.

What will you do instead if the game becomes lopsided?

Captain: Will try for some daytime sex, after being turned down will flick over to Sky Channel for some Spring Carnival action.

Professor: Will already be 50/50 split between the horses and the footy.

Who will you be cursing the most?

Captain: The umpires. Most times I watch AFL, my enjoyment is ruined by faggy umpiring decisions. Let the game flow you homos.

Professor: Glen Boss.

The Credibility Of the Brownlow Medal

For a moment last night, the Brownlow Medal was poised to officially become a complete nonsense. What do you expect when it's voted by umpires. AFL umpires are totally gay. Umpires see mid-fielders getting the ball. Sometimes getting a lot of the ball. Umpires think that because they are getting the ball all the time they must be the best players on the ground. Did Simon Black get a lot of touches this year? Yes. But did he deliver the ball accurately and use it effectively most of the time? No, he did not. I'm sorry, but the Brisbane Lions mid-field was SOLELY responsible for them not making the finals this year. And who is the leader in that group of mid-fielders? One Simon Black. The same Simon Black who the hierarchy of gaylord umpires voted to within one point of another Brownlow Medal, one that would have been thoroughly undeserved.


So congratulations to Adam Cooney, a deserving winner, a man who can hit a target from 25 metres away, and not a member of a mid-field who couldn't find their two gun full-forwards all year, ploughing the footy over their heads when not dropping it in too short.

Have fun on my bench Ocho Cinco

Think it's funny having a number for a name?

Think you're so special that you can get away with delivering worse numbers than Ike Hilliard for fucks sake? People (me) drafted your sorry ass in the third round. Buys who didn't suck ass were still available but I went with you and your douche hair cut and your dumb ass name. 

I don't know how I to find you in the phone book with your fucktard name but know this: I will.

Honestly, this is the last racing video of the morning: 2008 Tea Rose Stakes, Samantha Miss

Sustained long run this.
Not quite the boneriffic run of Princess Coup, but Samantha Miss will have 47.5 kg in the Cox Plate.
If you want to snap up 2.20 about the Hussler after watching this and the Coup in action, go for it.

2008 Stoney Bridge Stakes

If you haven't seen this run, I recommend disabling your internet and phones before you do. Otherwise if the Coup doesn't get up in the Cox Plate, you will be short a kidney or something. Shwing.

Nom de Jeu very strong second. Very strong cup run.

2008 Underwood Stakes, Weekend Hussler

Another week, another Group win for the Hussler. Honestly, if he skips the Caulfield Cup I can't see the Huss going down in the Cox Plate. Your only two real threats seem likely to come from Pompeii Ruler who again stuck on nicely for second. It seems possible that the extra 200 metres might help Pompeii Ruler in the Cox Plate, though not wholly likely.

Personally, at this point I would be keener to look at Samantha Miss (and I did @$41) and Princess Coup.

As for cup runs, Littorio has just been rubber stamped (along with Maybe Better) as my Melbourne Cup Horse. For the second race in succession, Littorio has flashed home like a horse that is looking for the extra ground.

Zarita again caught the eye with a pleasing run for 5th. What was really nice to see was that BIG Z showed that it didn't have to run on-pace to put in a flattering performance. Honestly, I have reservations that big Z will stay 3200 meters. However, that does not mean that a couple of sneaky $$ @ $61 to win the Melbourne Cup would be foolish.

Maldivian will be rock hard fit for the Caulfield Cup (Which should be his target now) after yet another hard on-pace run. Honestly, can't see him turning the tables at Cox Plate time and it would have to be time to think about the Cups.

Make of this what you will.

The field here was not world class.
2nd place went to horse one race off a Maiden.
3rd place to a journeyman type stayer.

13 lengths though, is 13 lengths.

THE WEEKEND'S FINALS FOOTY

NRL

WARRIORS vs ROOSTERS

After their miraculous victory over the Storm, Kiwi fans have once again jumped on the Warriors bandwagon, just as they did during their grand final run of 2002. During the regular season, you could pick up a ticket at the gate at Mt. Smart Stadium and pick whatever seat you liked. Tickets for this game were snapped up 11 minutes after they went on sale. In fact, the Warriors have become almost as popular across the ditch as their favourite pastime:

It just never gets old does it?!

The fair-weather Warriors fans have good reason to be confident after their performance last week. The fact is, if they are anywhere close to the Roosters at half-time, they should win. The Roosters showed last week against the Broncos that they are a fearsome team...for 40 minutes. Their lack of second half points, not just last week, but throughout the season has been perplexing. With that in mind, maybe the Roosters/Warriors halftime/fulltime double is good value at $6.50. Similar to my prediction last week, the heart is saying Roosters, but the head is saying Warriors.

BRONCOS vs STORM

There's been more shenanigans at the Broncos this week than a Shane Warne hotel suite. Plenty to distract them from this clash against a Storm outfit with a point to prove after last week's debacle. My take on the Storm is that sometimes they are a victim of their own gameplan and structure. They stick to it religiously and nine times out of ten, they win. In those rare matches that they lose, you're left thinking that they could have and should have won. The Storm's strict adherence to their gameplan in the close matches seems unusual considering the game-breakers they have in their side. I would have loved to see them chance their arm a bit more in the last 20 minutes...then perhaps they wouldn't now have to play two road games to make the grand final, but I guess you can't blame them for sticking with what works most of the time. The Broncos like to be written off and facing adversity. But this time they might have bitten off more than they can chew with their poorly timed benders and drunken debauchery prior to a match with a wounded Storm. Predicting exactly what is going to happen in this one is difficult...so I'll simply predict a Storm victory.

AFL

CATS vs BULLDOGS

In what shapes as one of the most lopsided first vs third preliminary finals in history, the Cats look to put the cleaners through the Dogs. Considering they didn't come close to the second best team in the first week of the finals, I'm prepared to completely write off the Dogs. I'm predicting a good old-fashioned hammering in this one:

HAWKS vs SAINTS

This one might be a little closer but I think that the Hawks are comfortably the second best team in the competition. I'd be surprised if a team as mediocre as St. Kilda could make the grand final. They knocked off a pretty average Collingwood side last week and will need to play a lot better to win this. A comfortable Hawks victory for mine. I like the Geelong (40+)/Hawthorn (25+) double at a tidy $3.89.

Enjoy your weekend of footy cuz. Should be choice bro!

2008 Makybe Diva Stakes

This is a decent race for cups purposes.

First, the Hussler. Comfortable win for the Hussler which should be expected. Let's not kid ourselves, the Hussler went nose to nose with a bunch of resuming stayers.

My issue with the Hussler is this: What is he being targeted for? It would be symptomatic of the hubris of trainers in this country if the Hussler lines up in the cups.

What is wrong with being Australia's best (and it isn't even close) horse over the 1200-2000 metre journeys?

Miss Finland - dominant over the 1200-1600 metre journeys. So greedy D Hayes says: Fuck that, let's embark on a cup campaign!

Usain Bolt - best 100 and 200 metre sprinter ever. Coach: "I want to train a marathon runner. Let's go on a marathon campaign."

Anyway: The Hussler should be targeted at his strength - the W.S. Cox plate.

Zarita - a solid on pace run for second. I don't like reading much into on-pace runs from stayers. It's a run and will do a lot for the horse's fitness. Big Z didn't get a lot of love from punters after that run, but don't be surprised if another good run sees its prices slashed like a turkish rug.

Littorio - certainly flashed home. El Capitan tends to think that this guy will be a bit flat from that run but we'll see. Hopefully that run was for real as he could be a really interesting Cup runner.

Efficient - as good a return as you could ask for from a Cup winner. Came home late and looked very good.

Master O - Looked a little slow to respond to the run of Efficient but wasn't far below Efficient in terms of a cup trial.

The rest: Take on trust. Prefer to see. [insert your own form guide cliche here]

Dato Chin Nam Stakes review

We have put a poll up on the side bar for your early Melbourne cup picks.

Every year, as soon as we get the first warm rays of spring, I start watching the racing more intently. This year, as the WHAB crew is taking a tax-deductible trip down to Melbourne for the cup, the intensity will be even greater.

Every week or two, one of us will give a bit of a market update and talk about some of the runs that caught our eye.

The Dato Chin Nam Stakes over the mile on the weekend is a pretty awkward form race. Watching this a few times, it might be best to not forget that it happened, but to treat it as a run for some of the cup fancies and leave it at that. Guillotine put together a nice run, but it had all of the favours in transit and it wasn't a run that had "cups horse" all over it.

However this little snippet from the Herald Sun over the weekend made me do a wee double take:

"Guillotine has only 50kg, the minimum, in the Caulfield Cup and Hayes will consider that as the main target for the spring"

So there you go. A little taste of the G-Tine at $18 seems like a good idea based on that knowledge.

The second place getter Casual Pass stuck on nicely and may have a big race in him at the ripe old age of 8. Which race that is, we probably need one more run to determine.

Alamosa is probably one that you can strike out. If this horse was a Cox Plate chance, it really needed to win given that it had a lot of favours in transit.

Your best run from a cups perspective: Zipping who finished with a booming run out wide.

And what to make of Tears I Cry? Buggers me. Maybe this whole race is just another case of the Valley's screwing with everyones form lines.

WHAB Guest Blogger #1: Major Turdler

The McInTurdler System

I have long had many issues with the McIntyre system for NRL finals. The very notion that, if, as one would expect, Teams 1-4 win the first week of the finals, Team 3 subsequently plays team 5 (a higher team than the first week) in a knockout semi final is perplexing. If teams 1 and 2 win, there is absolutely no use whatsoever in the second week of finals, other than to address the following flaw. The simple statistical fact that in the 9 years that the McIntyre system has been in effect, the team who has had the week off has progressed to the grand final in 9 out of 18 qualifying finals. 90% of the time, this has been the 1 or 2 ranked team, and they only win 50% of the time. Given that they have been the strongest side all year, you would expect this to be closer to 75%. While having the second week off seems to work well in the AFL, it is a clear disadvantage in the NRL. Ultimately, the week off should be the first week, with the stakes not being quite as high in the following week.

My proposed system extends upon the McIntyre system to address these issues as follows:

Week 1: Teams 1 and 2 have the week off

3 v 8

4 v 7

5 v 6

Lowest 2 ranked losers drop out. Team 3 is the only team assured passage through to the second week.

Week 2:

1 v remaining loser

2 v lowest ranked winner

highest ranked winner v second highest ranked winner

Lowest 2 ranked losers drop out. Team 1 is the only team assured passage through to the third week.

Week 3:

Highest ranked winner vs remaining loser

Second highest ranked winner vs third highest ranked winner

Week 4: Both winners progress to Grand Final.

((At this point I will note that there is another possible variation on this system whereby each week finals are decided based on the ladder position at the end of the season (IE in week 2, team 1 plays the lowest ranked team still remaining, team 2 plays second lowest etc). However, this system, while eliminating the possibility that teams 1 and 3 can potentially meet in the second week of the finals, has the similar drawback to the current system that week 1 has no effect for team 3, and week 2 has no effect for Team 1))

I believe this system addresses the current flaws, and is far more advantageous to the team who wins the minor premiership (the way it should be). It also means that every game has an impact - which, in a finals series is vitally important. Additionally, it will space the finals out. 4 finals in the first week is too many, the end is too far away, and it loses impact. If there is one extra final in the second week, I think the level of support, both at the ground and on TV will increase.

The NRL will never admit that the McIntyre system is rubbish (Isn't that why the AFL dropped it?), but I think this is a reasonable compromise.

Please let me know your thoughts, and if there is any issues with this system I have overlooked.

Cheers.

Major Turdler.

NRL Finals Preview

It's finally that time of year again...time to shake the dust off the McIntyre system. Ah, the ingenius McIntyre system...where the 6th placed team can lose and get a second chance! Where, if teams 1 and 2 win, the other four remaining teams, win or lose in Week 1, simply swap opponents for Week 2! Here's a look at the match-ups for the weekend which may well be absolutely pointless, but hopefully, full of surprises.

Roosters vs Broncos

The quality of this 4th vs 5th clash is solely dependent on which Roosters team turns up. The good Roosters makes for a great match, the bad Roosters makes for a Broncos victory without having to hit top gear. Willie Mason is gone for the season but that has hardly made die-hard Roosters fans,

such as this man, reach for the Kleenex.

For whatever reason, Mason has not been nearly involved enough in the Roosters pack this year. So I for one am quite happy to see the younger breed of Roosters getting more playing time. And I'm bitterly disappointed that in keeping Mason, we lose Tupou but that's another story. We know the Broncos will be ready to play but one can't be too confident that the Roosters will. The key for the Broncos will be metres up the guts. Ennis will be dangerous at dummy half, an area which has been troublesome for the Chooks all year long. If Brisbane win the battle for field position, they'll win. The keys for the Roosters are ball control and not conceding dumb penalties. If they can keep those two areas in check, then they will at least be in the game. They'll also need to be ready for Lockyer to run the ball on the last or kick unexpectedly. The head says Broncos but the heart says Roosters.

Manly vs St. George

A very tricky game for Manly. Sometimes 2nd vs 7th is one of those one-sided match-ups that are not worth watching, but this one looks a real contest. Buoyed by Orford's Dally M on the back his team being really good, the Eagles will remember that they went down to the Dragons at Brookvale earlier in the year, in one of the worst quality matches ever. Both teams look to be playing much better footy now so I'm expecting this to be watchable, if not overly exciting. Whichever pack can dominate will be the obvious key to this. The other will be last tackle options. The Dragons have improved finishing their sets throughout the year and will need to do so here. I really think that Soward should be starting this match if fit; Ben Rogers is a ticking time bomb just waiting to blow the Dragons chances away. If they lose, they're gone, so I would have thought Brown would play it safe. Manly should be able to create enough opportunities through field position for Orford's short kicking game, which can be dubious, to go largely unnoticed. Yep, there'll be no highlight reel but it should be a typically tough finals match. Manly in a tight one.

Sharks vs Raiders

It's 3rd vs 6th, structure vs enterprise, Covell in the corner vs Best/Campese/Monaghan/Milne from long range, but ultimately, it's strong defense vs "we'll just score more than them". There are many reasons the Sharks should win this: the strength of their defense, the Raiders injury toll, the fact Canberra have lost two halfbacks this year and now have Glen Buttriss at 7, the fact the Raider's points output is considerably less when they come up against the better defensive teams, and the Raiders away record. But then again, what do the Raiders have to lose? Hopefully we see some Campese magic but the Sharks will be no doubt guarding him closely. I expect the Sharks to win.

Storm vs Warriors

Conceivably, the Warriors at their very best could win this, if the Storm were well below their best. But the fact is, neither of those situations occur too often. Yes, the Warriors beat the Storm a few weeks back but the conditions were awful and it was in played in NZ. This is in Melbourne and conditions couldn't possibly be as miserable. Inconsistent teams don't beat the Storm on their home turf. It will be a contest early but eventually the Storm will grind them down and cruise to a comfortable win. If there is to be a miracle;

it will be NZ by a neck!

Good luck to all the teams...but mostly the Roosters! So if we lose to the Broncos, and the Dragons beat Manly, but the Warriors get knocked out, but then the Raiders.......

All Hail The Pimp

Pim "The Pimp" Verbeek continues to get the business done for the Socceroos. He's got the boys playing a nice brand of footy on the same wavelength, so they are able to adequately cover when missing starters. The makeshift defense held firm in last night's 1-0 win over the Uzbeks; in the pre-Guus/Pimp eras we would have lost that game for sure. The only sour note for the Socceroos is the RSPCA-Tashkent investigation into Lucas Neill smacking the ball at an injured and helpless bird on the pitch. The bird later died on the sidelines. A spokesman for Neill said "he thought the bird was Scott Chipperfield and was trying to play him in through the midfield, just an honest mistake". So with any luck Neill will be free to play against Qatar on October 15.

All aboard the Pimp Train! Next stop Brisbane!

Hall Of The Over-Rated: Inductee #3

Joining Johnathon Thurston and Sonny Bill Williams in WHAB's Hall Of The Over-Rated is, drum roll.....Matt Orford!




The Manly halfback held off the likes of Slater, Smith, Campese and Gidley, all of which I would argue stood out far more prominently than Orford this season. I just can't accept that a half with such terrible fifth tackle options and questionable kicking game can win such a prestigious award. Not to mention that he's never been considered good enough to play Origin. At times watching Orford plough the ball over the dead ball line on the last I have to do a double take to make sure I'm not actually watching Daniel Holdsworth. He's not the worst half in the game but there are at least 12 others I'd pick in the 6/7 before him. And there were at least five others that the NSW selectors put ahead of him. And it must also be pointed out that his kicking game is one of the main reasons they have dropped their last three against Melbourne. So Matt Orford, congratulations on joining such esteemed company!

Dear Steven Jackson

Hey fucker,

I drafted you first round in 2 of my 3 fantasy leagues this year. 

When you said that you were rejuvenated and ready to bounce back this year, I believed you. I picked you 4th! 4th! 

My fantasy football pride depends on you. 

14 carries for 40 yards and no TDs is what I expect out of a late round timeshare back you ass. 

You know who outran you today? Warrick Dunn. Warrick Dunn.

Get your shit sorted. 

St Louis isn't that far away you douche.

Sincerely,

Professor Chaos. 

How dumb are the Penrith Panthers?

In about an hour, the answer to this question will be revealed. At that time, the future of Matthew Elliott will be decided. Panthers CEO Mick Leary will probably end the term of the embattled coach one season early. 

Looking at the performance of the Panthers in the two years of his reign 2007 and 2008 gives a solid reason why the Panthers might make this choice. In 2007, the Panthers finished with the Wooden Spoon. Whilst finishing with the wooden spoon last year, a closer look at the numbers shows that they were probably unfortunate to finish where they did. The 8th Best attack in the competition, and the 13th best defense gave a points differential of -65. This was better than 5 teams in the competition! As such, improvement was expected out of the Panthers for 2008. A 12th place finish seems to fit that bill. However, the swoon with which the Panthers finished 2008 has created some bad vibes in Pantherland. Again compiling the 8th best attack in the game, the Panthers certainly scored enough points to be competitive. However, the defense again caused most of the issues with the same 13th ranking in this area this time around. 

The real issue for Penrith has been personnel decisions. The Panthers board has over the past five years, offered more ill-advised contracts for a longer duration than any other club. Elliot, has been expected to polish this turd of a playing group all the way to the final 8? 

Elliott should be fired for:

- Signing two wingers(Rooney, Lewis) for a combined 8 years and almost 5 million! after 2003.

- Signing two backrowers (Puletua, Gulavao)to lucrative contracts that took them well past their prime seasons. 

- Handing out a massive contract to a guy with bones made out of fibreglass (Waterhouse).

- Handing out a contract of epic proportions to a guy who never intended to fulfil it (Pritchard).

- Not being able to sign any new players with the $3.50 left under the cap.

- Signing players with no thought to their ability to tackle.

So there you have it. Elliott did all of those things and should be fired. Then, he should be drawn and quartered and shit. 

Here is a club that in 2009 will finally be rid of the bad contracts from 2003. This is not a smart football club. 

My take on this is that Matt Elliott is a cerebral coach. He thinks two/three years and makes plans. He thinks about rebuilding. If ever a club needed to rebuild it is the Panthers. Get rid of some bad contracts, get some young more teachable players in to fit Elliott's style and go from there. 

As I mentioned above, the Panthers are a stupid club. Moreover, the fans are not a lot smarter. Panthers fans loved the less cerebral post game interviews offered by John Lang - with numerous mentions of "the boys" and a heavy smattering of sporting cliche. Elliot's obvious intelligence makes him unpopular in the mountains. A land where all of the poppies are tall.

Expectations:

- Elliott is not sacked today, but after their round one loss. There is no obvious replacement.

- Club vigorously pursues a marquee winger - either Colin Best or Nightingale are offered $400K per season. Fuck, why not both.

- Panthers willing to take that Asotasi contract off the Rabbitohs hands.

And with that, the salary cap wiggle room is gone and the Panthers sign up for another 5 years of irrelevance. 

Chicago Bears Season Preview

"Orton goes deep to Marty Booker for the touchdown!" is one phrase you certainly won't be hearing this season. The Bears look to have the worst offense in the league with a rookie to start at running back, wide receivers who are either kick returners or would be very lucky to be second stringers on other rosters and a QB who stunk up 2005/2006 so badly it was beyond belief.

Kyle Orton's passing even makes himself drowsy...

It looks like a return to those good old days when a typical day at the office for Orton read like this: K.Orton 5/21, 43yds, 0TD, 3INT. And that's how you end up with a QB rating of 59.7. In the NRL you would give a rating like this to a halfback as bad as Daniel Holdsworth. This may even be harsh on Holdsworth as terrible as he has been for the past three or more years. When your offensive strength is actually your defense, that is not good. The Bears amazingly won 10 of 15 games in which Orton started in 05/06 but eventually the ridiculous amount of time the defense spent on the field took it's toll. So coach Lovie Smith has made the ingenius decision to start Orton this season after a couple of years in the wilderness...but admittedly, his other option Rex Grossman is not much better. Whereas the Bulldogs after years of Holdsworth mediocrity decided "You know what guys, Holdsworth sucks balls. He is absolute rubbish." and signed Brett Kimmorley, the Bears have stuck with two dreadful QB's instead of looking for someone else, anyone else to take snaps and as such, will be awful this year. Here's what the Chicago Times think:

Bears choose lesser of two evils in Kyle Orton

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

In one of the least interesting quarterback battles in recent NFL memory, the Chicago Bears have announced that Kyle Orton will be the team’s starter over Rex Grossman for the Sept. 7 season opener against the Colts.

This is one of those times where a player didn’t so much win a job as he did less to lose it. Need numerical proof? Orton is 12-for-19 for only 99 yards through two preseason games compared to Grossman’s 13-for-23 for 118 yards with a touchdown and interception. Not exactly a Hall of Fame battle.

If it has even crossed your mind to take the $5 on Chicago to win the NFC North then you should seek psychiactric help immediately...