Friday, July 11, 2008

The Pittman/Rawlinson Bounty

Jana Pittman/Rawlinson is out of the Beijing Olympics.

The much maligned athlete has pulled the plug on the Beijing games due to a toe injury. In most cases, an athlete pulling out because of a toe injury may suffer ridicule, and be asked to harden up. Maybe, the athlete would be condemned by the eyes of Katich. In the Jana case though, we at WHAB are giving her the green light to stay at home. We are even going to suggest that she rests her big toe by not talking to the media, plugging treadmills or stirring the pot. You can take some time off your media feud with Tamsyn Lewis.
Now there's something we can all enjoy. You didn't think I would give you a photo of Jana for your Friday.

Will Australia's favourite daughter: "Rawly" heed our advice??? The smart money suggests that no, she will not.

So how will we next see Rawly?? Will she be given a column in the Telegraph or some such? A place to give us daily insight into how the "toe that stops a nation" is healing. A place to tell us all about her contempt for Tamsyn.
Again, this is not Jana Pittman. Nor is it Jana Rawlinson...

Will it be on television - a today tonight puff piece about how hard it is to be Rawly, followed by commentating on the athletics at the games. Another place to inform us of her Tamsyn Lewis contempt. David Koch and Jana in the same room - time to turn the sound down and ABC radio up.

Will it be another miracle healing??? Stepping through customs at Beijing and casting her crutches aside. Oh, and how the nation could breathe again, if only it were true. Brought a tear to the eye. I think that Australia qualifying for the world cup overshadowed miracle Jana as Australia's finest sporting moment is a travesty. You heard me, a travesty.

The miracle at Athens!

We at WHAB cannot allow this to happen.

You can not allow this to happen.

If you see Jana on a plane to Beijing and suspect something might be afoot, FINISH the JOB(*Deliberately vague in case anyone takes this at face value).

What's in it for you???
Oh yeah - a crisp 80's era five dollar note *May not be legal tender*

You could buy a schooner! 2 service station Mars Bars! A cheeseburger stunner deal! The options are endless.

*** Legal Disclaimer - this is not a serious bounty. Stepping on the toe that stops a nation, as funny as it may be is not being encouraged here. Professor Chaos, WHAB, and WHAB enterprises take no responsibility for anything, ever. Though we may find it hilarious.***

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