Monday, July 14, 2008

Beijing 2008: Judo

Judo was the sleeping giant of Olympic sports until this guy came along:

After International Man Of Mystery was released, the "judo chop" was all the rage. It got out of hand really; people holding their hand out for a hand-shake only to pull away at the last minute and judo chop their hapless mate; others judo chopping their grandmas for a laugh; and some even just judo chopping thin air in a judo chopping frenzy, such was the impact of this supposedly new form of "self defense". Of course, the Japanese have been judo chopping for as long as they have been stabbing people with samurai swords.

Judo chopping is not permitted in Olympic judo. Neither is "body scissors". In a sport where the Japanese used to compete to the death, it's less likely to end in a funeral these days. So why would we want to watch judo at Beijing? Well it's still pretty tough...

In the NRL, this would be getting referred straight to the judiciary. In judo, this is nothing more than dominating the dojo.

Judo masters are also faster than a speeding bullet:

Ooh, you'll feel that in the morning son!

Australian have a team of 13 heading to Beijing to lay the smackdown. If you want to know more about the scoring and rules I suggest you start to learn Japanese and then hit Wikipedia. Maybe even enrol at a Japanese university. You need a double degree in Japanese/Judo to fully understand the sport; however, anyone with a dozen beers under their belt will know who's who's bitch. So sit back and feel those faceplants, all the sneaky judo chops when the referee isn't looking and every grade five intentional throw from the comfort of your favourite armchair when Beijing 2008 comes around.

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