Thursday, July 31, 2008

BEIJING 2008: Rhythmic Gymnastics!!!

Can you feel the rhythm of the rope/hoop/ball/clubs/ribbon? If you answered yes to any of these then you either belong at your local gay bar or at Beijing representing your country in Rhythmic Gymnastics (R.G)! But in all seriousness, R.G has been planted into everyone's subconsciousness by TV shows such as Grey's Anatomy, Lizzie McGuire (First season, "I've Got Rhythmic"), the classic episode #66 of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers (Bloom Of Doom), and even Will Ferrell in the movie Old School. So here's a guide to R.G at Beijing to help you get in touch with your feminine raving homo you!

Rope: Fundamental requirements/elements include leaps, skipping, swings, throws, circles, rotations and figures of eight. What a hoot!
Hoop: Rotation of the hoop around the hand/body, rolling, swings, circles, throws, and passes through and over the hoop. Google search...hooping...Cirque de Soleil...Elena

Now where was I? Ah yes, Olympic R.G...

Ball: Throwing, bouncing and rolling; the gymnast must use both hands on the ball and work on the whole floor area whilst showing continuous flowing movement...
Clubs: Juggling, just like clowns at the circus, only not lit on fire.
Ribbon: A satin ribbon is attached to a stick and the gymnast flicks, circles, snakes, spirals, and throws like so:

So impress the missus with your knowledge gained right here at WHAB. Watch some R.G with her...maybe you can use what you've learnt to spice things up in the bedroom...maybe she'll just wonder if you are actually a massive homo...Anyhow, like most forms of gymnastics, R.G is dominated by Russia. Australia suffer the ignominy of being worse than New Zealand in this sport. Maybe we need a Kiwi coach!

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