Tuesday, June 30, 2009

The Captain's NSW Origin III team

This continues the discussion from the comments courtesy of Major Turdler (aka The Phil Gould Fan Club) under the post "How do these guys keep their jobs?"...

My first forward picked, were he fit, (and I acknowledge that he won't be ready for game 3), would be Ben Cross. I look back to last year and he was fantastic in the two games he played in. In the game he didn't play, the other forwards in our pack were exposed as sissies, as we had no go-forward and got caned 30-0 accordingly. A Weyman/Cross front row looks a tantalising prospect over the next few years, particularly with the aging QLD front row. Poore in the run on...I guess I just cannot yet forgive the flimsy defence of he and Farah to let Folau score in game 2, as if he brushed off a couple of sheets of A4 paper. I'm going to throw someone else in the mix. He doesn't play for a flash club, and most people probably don't even know who he is, but I like an unsung hero. Particularly one who is in the top 10 in hit ups, metres gained and tackles made. El Masri, just can't have him in Origin circa 2009. If you play Campese, he can kick goals. Monaghan I'd also prefer to see on the wing. I have thought long and hard about the halves. Barrett is 31. The series is over. Wallace didn't work out. I pick Mullen with a view to him being picked for the WHOLE SERIES next year. I think he can become the undisputed NSW halfback if given a whole series. As much as I've tried to talk Mullen out of things in the past, I am now convinced he gives you all the skills required. Particularly when paired with Campese. Lastly, RE: the hooker...I have had a hundred or so QLD supporters that are astounded that we haven't picked Ennis. They hate him. They hate him becauses he's the most annoying fucker in the game and is from NSW. Imagine if he actually played for the Blues, how much they'd hate him. The new Benny Elias perhaps? Here's the team I would select, after kicking the current selectors in the nuts until they finally quit, and with a view to next year:

1. Hayne
2. Josh Morris
3. Jennings
4. Lyon
5. Monaghan
6. Campese
7. Mullen
8. Weyman
9. Ennis
10. Douglas
11. Laffranchi
12. Creagh
13. O'Donnell (C)

14. Gidley
15. Watmough
16. Leahroyd-Lahrs
17. Bailey

O'Donnell has been our rock in the forward pack and has shown that he can lead the troops. Not an ideal captain perhaps, but better than a fullback being captain in Origin when he's generally 50 metres away from what's going on. We've already lost the series, so why the fuck not? Could be a masterstroke. I keep Gidley on the bench because he and Mullen are able to orchestrate attacking raids out wide from inside their own half, which would hopefully give Jennings some space. Hayne obviously needs to be involved more. Monaghan would mark Folau and Morris could take Boyd. Campese plays a lot of dummy half at the Raiders so he/Gidley give Ennis a short breather. Anyway, I reckon it's a pretty well balanced team. Enough to get the hard work done up the guts and plenty of attacking options. Though I'm pretty sure the NSW selectors and Crankypants Bellamy will have their own horrid masterplan for game 3...

Monday, June 22, 2009

How Do These Guys Keep Their Jobs?

Namely Bob McCarthy, Bob Fulton, Geoff Gerard and Laurie Daley. These guys have had as much success as NSW Origin selectors as Nathan Brown had armed with the hottest squad in the NRL, unfortunately coupled with the tactical nous of an under 8's coach. That's about as much success as Brad Fittler trying to find his hotel room after 88 schooners. If NSW suffer a fourth consecutive series loss tomorrow night, then these fuckers must go. The latest in a fucking gi-normous list of faux pas, is picking a centre/winger to cover for the loss of the utility player. I am a big Josh Morris fan, but how Terry Campese, Ben Hornby, and Michael Ennis aren't better equipped as utility players is fucking beyond me. These clowns make me so fucking angry, year in, year out, but unlike everyone else in the world, seem to suffer no consequences of doing a fucked job.

Over the years, this group or members of this group of selectors have also been responsible for (in no particular order):

* Repeatedly picking a guy like Steve Simpson, even though he turned invisible whenever he donned a sky blue jersey.

* Selecting the two biggest softcocks in Origin history; Jason Stevens and Jason Ryles.

*Persisting with guys like Braith Anasta and Brett Kimmorley, when they clearly weren't good enough to get the job done, rather than blooding some youngsters.

* Seemingly for no reason, repeatedly snubbing/dropping Anthony Laffranchi, even though he is deemed good enough to be in the run-on side for Australia.

* Picking players out of their natural positions.

* Not giving new players second chances.

* Picking 53 year old second rower Craig Fitzgibbon as a front rower.

* Making NSW fans fucking angry with their perplexing selection processes and lame excuses after losses.

That's just a couple of points off the top of my head. If I had time to think about it, there'd be many more I'm sure.

Regardless of the selectors' incompetence, I'll always be a Blues man and hope they can give us something in Origin II. They need a QLD-esque performance, to win against the odds. Let's just hope that if Robbie Farah goes down, Josh Morris is as good at hooker as the selectors think.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Gentlemen, We Need To Find Us A Scapegoat Again...

As usual, after an Origin loss, Craig Bellamy and the NSW Selectors need to find someone to hold personally responsible for said loss. Terry Campese gets it this time. In his defense, I have seen many far worse Origin debuts. You're nervous early, make a couple of errors/poor choices but finish off the game okay. No you couldn't conjure up any miracles, but it was your first Origin, right? Anyway, as per usual, the selectors felt the need to trot out another old hand...Trent Barrett. I have nothing against Barrett, he'll probably play well, as he has in his side's "hot streak" where they have put away the Eels (14th), the Warriors (11th) and the Raiders (13th); but why you wouldn't give Campese another go is beyond me. They've embarked on a youth campaign, but sadly, and not for the first time, they've not had the balls to see it through. I think it also justs adds more confusion to Wallace's game having a new partner in the halves. Anyway, I hope Barrett can develop some chemistry with Wallace and remembers that his good form has been against rubbish teams, so he'll need to step it up a notch. I just want to end this post by expressing my deep desire to put one right between Colin Love's eyes. I can't stand the man and have no confidence in anything he's involved in. Is it wrong to want to punch an old guy? Even though he's a total douchebag? He makes me want to break stuff...

C'mon the BLUES!!! Give us something!

Show Some Respect!

Tim Cahill was refused service at Sydney bar Trademark over the weekend before being shown the door. Who exactly the fuck do these people think they are?! This isn't just another boozed up League star here, this is Tim Cahill, the golden boy of football in this country:

Take that Japan!

What were these idiots doing when this was on? The man is a fucking national hero! A national hero should be able to drink as much as he pleases without being harassed by wanker pub staff. How dare these assholes throw him out! Fuck you Trademark and your bonehead security staff! Tim Cahill is the fucking best!

Monday, June 8, 2009

WHAB in Lockdown

Our writers here at WHAB are currently in quarantine with full-blown Swine Flu. I personally blame dirty QLD'ers like Ben Hannant,

who don't think of the implications that rooting pigs can have on everyone else. Anyway while we've been bunkered down, QLD won Origin I after some highly dubious refereeing decisions, England got rolled by the Netherlands (!!!) in the T20 World Cup, Black Piranha shed his Group 1 bridesmaid tag in the Stradbroke Hcp, Brett Lee bowled an awful array of pies that were smashed to all corners of the Old Dart, the Socceroos officially qualified for South Africa 2010, "Bestial" Ben Hannant slept with a pig and gave everyone even remotely involved in the NRL Swine Flu, Jensen Button (!) continued to make it look like the rest of the field were racing ride-on lawnmowers, and Roger Federer finally blubbered his way to the French Open crown.

Who knows how long we'll be bailed up in this hell-hole with this miserable virus. "Hey JB, throw us another beer will ya!". Yeah this really sucks. "Professor, get the door will ya, that'll be room service!". Anyway, we better get back to being violently ill with this epidemic monstrosity that is Swine Flu. Check out our story in the coming days on Today Tonight and ACA...and be afraid people...be very afraid...it could happen to you.....