Monday, August 24, 2009

ASSCLOWN OF THE WEEK

"Despite results suggesting otherwise, Ponting is a superior captain to his predecessor, Steve Waugh. Ponting never runs out of ideas in the field, whereas Waugh, even with a more experienced and varied attack, often lacked inspiration.” – Ian Chappell said that Ponting's captaincy should not come under pressure.

What exactly did S. Waugh do to I. Chappell? Ran over his dog? Boned Mrs Chappell? I'd really love to know...

Could he seriously believe that Ponting is a better captain than Waugh?! Or does he just hate him so god damn much?

14 comments:

Dan said...

I don't know what S. Waugh did, but Chappelli's hated him for ages - something to do with him getting runs in too boring a fashion or something. Who knows? This is, as you say, a new level of assclownery, however.

And now Ponting's threatening to stick around for yet another go. Why does he hate Australian cricket so much?

Captain Carnage said...

He's such a selfish prick. I'm sure we'll shortly start hearing excuses disguised as cliches in reference to another Ashes failure such as "learning experience" and "foundation for the future". And when we hammer the Windies, everything will be okay again...because fans forget about Ashes defeats so easily when we're smashing crap teams at home...

Dan said...

Others may forget, but not me. Ponting's idiocy is burned into my skull.

BTW, here's my counterargument to Chapelli's lunacy- http://drinksbreak.blogspot.com/2009/07/why-ricky-ponting-is-anti-steve-waugh.html

Professor Chaos said...

Gentlemen,
I read this in the paper at lunch today, and I thought... I have to post about this. Then I got hammered and decided to wait until tomorrow. But it's been done for me. Captain/Dan, thanks.

After the great tubbler, Steve Waugh was the greatest captain I've seen. Ponting is in the Lara/Tendulkar "lead from the front whilst being a giant dick" class. Ian Chappell: step up, you angry old bastard. You have done nothing but tarnish the career of one of the greatest Australian's of my times reputation and for that, you suck.

If the captain and I see you whilst sloppy, you will get the Nathan Brown treatment, not the Gai Waterhouse treatment, am I right Cap?

Captain Carnage said...

Gai, like Dorothy Mantooth, is a saint. Chappeli is like Glen Boss after more Group 1 glory...he just won't go away...

Captain Carnage said...

And yes Dan, I couldn't agree more that Ponting is the anti-Waugh.

Dan said...

Also, Ponting never runs out of ideas in the field?

That would be a really good quality in a captain, if it weren't for the fact Ponting's never-ending supply of ideas are invariably shite ones - like, say, not bowling Hilfenhaus at the last pair at Cardiff or inserting the opposition when your best fast bowler's just had to withdraw from the Test at the last minute or fielding at silly mid-off without a helmet so you can be smacked in the face (although, admittedly, the last one gave me a good laugh, so that's probably fair enough).

Captain Carnage said...

My personal favourite was taking out the slips for Trescothick after a couple of overs in every match of the '05 series. Trescothick scored 90% of all his runs between first slip and point...yeah that was a fucking great idea Chappelli.

Dan said...

Heh. I think every dumb thing Ponting does as captain should now be retrospectively added to Chappelli's captaincy record also.

Just as payback for the stupidity of his comment.

Professor Chaos said...

Movie Pitch:
Back to the future IV. Chappelli goes back in time to make Ponting not have his early career "indiscretion". Ponting displaces Steve Waugh for the 2001 series and we lose three straight Ashes.

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Shirtman said...

Mohsin, as pathetic as that contribution was I think you have still managed to outdo R Ponting contribution to reasoned cricket captaincy.

Professor Chaos said...

Glad to have you back Shirtman! Tell it like it is!

Anonymous said...

Hahaha... very funny. Been a few months since ivbe been here but laughed my way through this one. Chappelli couldnt handle the fact Steve Waugh didnt hook or pull so he decided he was going to hate every single thing about the bloke from that point on. -DB