Monday, July 20, 2009

The McFan club

As the second test draws to what looks like a painful close, it doesn't seem too early to summarise a few thoughts and look forward to the third test. Some reflections:

1) Andrew Flintoff's post wicket celebrations make me want to punch him in the face. And the English commentary team (and even a lot of the Aussie media) seem to be pretty keen to fuel the douche fire within.

2) Umpiring decisions: Just baffling. Three out of the first five dismissals, just horribly wrong.

3) Ponting: Always wrong. If the coin is in the air, and you are thinking tails: Call heads. If you think that an extended North spell is the right choice: try Hilfenhaus. If you can't remember who that 15th guy in the squad is and you're tempted to call him Kasper: try Sarfraz.

4) Stuart Macgill is the new Richie Benaud.

5) Apparently Mitchell Johnson has a girlfriend who is good at karate. Did you know that?

Some thoughts on Selection:

1) North and Hauritz shouldn't coexist. If Ponting is hitching his cart to Hauritz, then the allrounder spot must go to McLovin. Hauritz can tie up an end for five days with innocuous offspin. So, unless you want to tie up two ends with innocuous offspin, there is no real job for "Pete" North with the ball. Alternatively, and this is radical thinking, you could pick a BATSMAN at 6. North fills a role in an Australian team without a specialist spinner, but I challenge anyone to tell me that if there is no bowling role for North what he offers that someone like David Hussey, or the chunktacular Brad Hodge doesn't. So, option one: McLovin. Option two: Specialist Batsman.
2) Of course, you can keep North and drop Hauritz. I'm not saying that Hauritz hasn't surprised me with those little nothing balls of his, but North can earn his Allrounder tag as the supplement to a four-pronged pace attack of death. Who constitutes that pace attack is a matter of some debate. Hilfenhaus is the only shoe. Johnson needs to suck less, much less. Maybe Ricky and co should watch him in the nets or something. I find it unfathomable that Johnson wouldn't be showing symptoms of suck in the nets. It would be nice to imagine that Johnson is okay. Siddle is not getting a lot of help from the English decks, but is reliable and an over-eater. Sarfraz is on a learning tour, so look for Lee to be the fourth member of the attack. Look for Lee to be a mentor for Johnson. Johnson might not get better at cricket, but will be gangbusters on the Double Bass.


Captain Carnage said...

Flintoff...what a fucking nonsense. All he's ever done is bowl well against Australia. Here are his career bowling stats:

Mat Inns Balls Runs Wkts
77 133 14622 7240 225

5/58 8/156 32.17 2.97 64.9

So as far as I'm concerned, you can't carry on like you are the best bowler to have ever lived with that record. Arms outstretched, that pompous expression...a couple of swift ones to the ghoulies will sort him out.

The shocking fact is that under the Punter psyche of this team, Australia has convinced themselves that Freddy IS the greatest bowler the world has ever seen. The stats, worse than Brett Lee's, suggest otherwise. Perhaps they should focus on the stupidity in their shot selection, ie, 6 guys were dismissed playing/trying to play the hook/pull shot in the 1st innings. That is incredible. After watching one or two of your top order go like that, wouldn't you put your hook and pull shots firmly back in your kit bag in favour of a straight bat?

Before the start of the series, Stuart Clark was ranked the #4 bowler in the world. He is a fantastic bowler; his stats back it up, watching him bowl backs it up, only problem is that Ricky Ponting doesn't back him up. Even when Sarfraz has been in the team, he is grossly underbowled, never given the plum jobs of cleaning up the tail a'la Lee and Johnson and is almost an afterthought in tight situations. I'd love nothing more than Sarfraz bringing home the Ashes, giving Punter a massive brown-eye in the process, but I'm not sure that's how it will be.

I think North is in the team primarily as a batsmen. He's done pretty well so far but those two Lord's dismissals were really bad. I'm prepared to give him another go though.

All that said, we were dominant in the First Test, whilst in the Second Test we were downright stupid with the bat and appallingly soft in the face of Freddy-mania (except for Haddin and Clarke in the 2nd innings). If we play to our potential, we are the better side. But once again, through miraculously not winning the First Test, we have gifted momentum back to Freddy Fuck-toff and the Poms. A long way to go in the series though, I wouldn't write off the Aussies just yet, as I still don't think this England side is that good.

Professor Chaos said...

Beautifully Put captain... I didn't put across in that post, but I think McD might be a wicket taker in England. Puts it on the spot and likely to get some swing...

everyones voting for the casio dg-20 electric guitar.* I had thought that some votes would pour in for the double bass for some Sharp like action.

Captain Carnage said...

I think everyone was looking for the electric keytar option...

the phil gould fan club said...

CLearly everybody did think it was electric keytar. Myself included.

Ponting. Worst captain ever. Nuff said.