Saturday, May 31, 2008

More scratchings!

Absolute Glam scratched. Perth racing abandoned. Nothing left for it but to unload $50 on Tungsten Strike, United Kingdom race 3 no. 3.

Scratching!

With $50 on the daily double over with Absolut Glam Scratched, I have to find a new home for that money.

Lets do this:
$30 on the Titans to win (no margin stuff)
$10 on Frisco's Vision in BR7, $10 on Daunting Lad in the same race.

Friday, May 30, 2008

IPL Semi-Final 2:

King's XI Punjab vs Chennai Super Kings


The 'Jab and the Kings slug it out tonight for a final's berth against the Royals. Punjab are captained by Yuvraj Singh, famous for hitting six sixes off an over of 20-20 from hapless Pom Chris Broad. No such heroics from him in the IPL however; the star has been Aussie Shaun Marsh who is the tournament's leading runscorer with a whopping 593 runs from his 10 matches. He has an average of 74.13 which when coupled with his strike rate of 139.86 = pain for bowlers. Chennai's leading wicket-taker Manpreet Gony, along with Makhaya Ntini and Murali will be looking to curb the destruction. Personally I hope Marsh hits Murali out of the ground every ball. And I hope Yuvraj, Hopes, Pomersbach and co. follow suit. Warne is putting Murali to shame in the IPL. Murali is Warney's bitch. But I digress. For the Kings, Captain Dhoni leads the batting stats and is supported by an under-rated batting line-up including Fleming, Patel, Morkel and Raina. They come up against the IPL's second best bowling attack with Sreesanth, Chawla and Pathan among the top 10 wicket-takers. Should be a cracking contest.

Betting: Punjab $1.55, Chennai $2.45

Prediction: In "Inglish"; Marsh Wow! Murali Chennai back 6 smash! Punjab final beat Chennai Warney beat Trophy!






Where did the Bears go?

Yes they played boring football with uninspiring halves such as Greg Florimo and Jason Taylor, yes they actually payed Brett "the fans have voted you as the biggest ball sucker to ever play" Dallas, yes they were responsible for Ben Ikin, yes their best players were second string Queensland heroes such as Martin Bella, Gary Larson, Billy Moore and the aforementioned Dallas and Ikin - but where did the North Sydney Bears go?
Well after a short lived and ill-fated merger with Manly they dissolved. To many, Manly agreed to the merger without any true intention of succesfully integrating with their long time regional rivals. They pocketed the merger money that was on the table and then left them high and dry 3 years later.

With many Sydney clubs now in financial distress (go on Matthew Johns blame the government -you're weak as piss) the move to the central coast of NSW is back on the cards with an $8 million dollar reward from the NRL for the club that goes. This was once the home (one of two - the other being Brookvale) of the Northern Eagles, the merged club between Manly and Norths.

As Brookvale continues to crumble and the Central Coast Mariners prove them wrong for not giving it a better go earlier, it appears that all Sydney clubs would rather be pushed than persuaded into making the move to the central coast now.

With Holmes a Court leaving Russell to deal with creditors over at the Rabbitohs, Parramatta unable to inspire their players to take a pay cut to save their bank balance, the Tigers in the midst of a development nightmare and with Wests more than willing to take over the NRL license Manly style, the Dragons are proving that no one wins on the pokies. Manly look all but safe thanks mainly due to a $20 million handout expected from the NSW state government.

So which clubs should go? Should the decision be purely financial? Or does history and geography come into play? From the last round of club carnage, the NRL took no notice of history when letting the North Sydney Bears fold nor took any notice of geographical boundaries, with Cronulla emerging as a small island engulfed by the new St George-Illawarra Club. Economically, surely those clubs that aren't financially viable or, more acurately, hung their futures on the back of the pokies, have a tough case to argue that they should remain at the potential expense of those clubs that focused on high game attandances/a solid fan base/high membership and smart sponsorship arrangements.

The strangest thing to come out of all this is that players don't want to play at ANZ Stadium because its empty. Well this just about sums it up, people aren't going to the games and for too long the fans have been given the arse over those who play the pokies. The math is simple, you neglect your fans you lose the club.

It would be easier to start again than reduce 8 (9 including Penrith) Sydney based teams down to the more realistic 4 /5 clubs that Sydney can support. For example there are only 9 london teams that have ever played in the EPL (Arsenal, Charlton Athletic, Chelsea, Crystal Palace, Fulham, Queens Park Rangers, Tottenham, West Ham and Wimbledon) with Wimbledon FC being forced out of London in 2003-04. If a population close to 8 million can't support 9 teams in their first division than I don't think a city the size of Sydney can.

I would prepose a simple East, West, North and South arangement plus Penrith and lets be honest Penrith is nowhere near Sydney. You mountaineers have to be joking when you say you live in Sydney, you live in the sticks - isn't that right Professor, can I have another ass pudding Mr. Girdler? But seriously, I think a strong geographic recognition has to be the starting point. I would just simply establish the borders on a map and issue one licence for each quadrant and all clubs within that quadrant would then need to battle/merge with each other or relocate in order to play in the NRL. Simplistic? Yes, but at the end of the day, nothing can be said to console the supporters of the club that goes and nothing can be done to reverse the poor managerial decisions of those clubs that are now facing the axe.

IPL Semi Final Preview: Royals v Daredevils!

With the IPL prelims out of the way, it is semi final time. The 11-2 Royals taking on the 7-1-6 Dehli Daredevils.

The Daredevils come into this match, having scraped into the final 4 - denying preseason darlings the Mumbai Indians and the Chennai Super Kings in the final week. Whilst much has been made of the Daredevils being a lucky finalist given the clearly superior Indians lineup; the runs are on the board. The Royals have seldom looked like anything but the best team in the comp. This flies in the face of preseason pundits who had this team as close to the worst in the competition.

The Daredevils boast one thing in abundance: Strikepower at the top of the order. In Sehwag and Gambhir at the top of the order, this must be considered a strength for the Daredevils. Both will definitely handle the conditions - another plus. As good as Sehwag is to watch, the Professor's tip is that it will not be long until we declare that the best batsman in the world is: Gautam Gambhir. Handles all conditions with ease. Looks poised. Hits all over the wicket. Will take Tendulkars mantle very soon. The Daredevils bowling is off and on. The Maharoof is on fire a potential key here.

The Royals, who have made it clear will do this without Australian hero Darren Lehmann, will come into this game as deserved favourites. Led by the unbelievably effective 20-20 stylings of Graemi Smith and Shane Watson with the bat and the bowling of the unhearalded Tanvir and the genius of Shane Warne with the ball - this team was built for 20-20. Can we see the pirate superstar Dimitri Mascarenhas tonight?? That's the big hope at WHAB HQ. In short, a team without the massively big names of other franchises (at least in quantity), but with massive ability.

How Shane Warne never captained Australia is beyond me.

Take the $1.72 on the Royals if you are betting.

WHAB's Weekend Whispers

The Captain:

$25 on Brisbane/Canberra/Melbourne(13+) @ $4.97
$25 on Adelaide/Melbourne Demons/Melbourne Storm @ $4.57

$30 on Marasco, PR7 no.1
$20 on Absolut Glam, BR8 no.6

JB:

$5 NRL highscore Storm/lowscore Sharks @$56.70
$10 Raiders/Panthers/Titans/Tigers @ $34
$15 Tigers (1-12)/ Storm @ $4.51
$20 Adelaide/Geelong/Collingwood/Sydney/Storm @2.08

Professor Chaos:

$50 on the Daily double (racs 6/8 at Eagle Farm) Absolut Glam into Heavenly Glow.
The Waratahs $3.50. $10 on that.
Have the Tahs again but this time into the NAVY BLUES at $6.50. $5 on that.
Manly-Penrith-Parramatta triple $10
Gold Coast <13 $25 @ $3.70 Oh yeah, that's The professor's BIG LOCK!

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Poll Results

It was a close call but in the end most people wanted to see the cock getting slapped and so it was that badminton won out over archery and artistic gymnastics.

Beijing 2008 Athletics: Track

Part 2: 1500m and beyond.

We'll now have a look at the distance events or staying races in horseracing parlance.

1500m: The King of middle distance running Hicham El Guerrouj has retired leaving Kenyan-turned-Yank Bernard Kipchirchir Lagat and Kenyan Daniel Kipchirchir Komen at the top of the ranks. I'm guessing that Kipchirchir means Smith in Kenyan. The third highest ranked runner this year is also Kenyan which brings me to the conclusion that Kenya must be a pretty boring place if pounding pavement/dirt track is their prime source of entertainment. Any Aussie who did Little Athletics will tell you that running 1500m sucks balls which is why we have no runners in this event at the Olympics.

3000m Steeplechase: The least high-profile Australian medal hope at Beijing will be Donna MacFarlane; this is because she is in the silly event which is the 3000m Steeplechase. Personally I am looking forward to the 'Chase. With immovable hurdles there is a great chance for some carnage; a poorly timed leap could leave a competitor well and truly impaled. There are also water jumps. I have no idea why. It doesn't make sense to have water jumps unless the runners are wearing bowling shoes which would provide the possibility of more maimings. Another idea would be to fill the water jumps with sting rays. Imagine Donna MacFarlane coming down the home straight to pass an ailing Kenyan, who has a sting ray barb going right through her foot, for the gold!

Apparently they can fly too! The 'Chase would be prime time with stingers flying up out of the water jumps...

5000m: If the lights go out during the 5000m final at the Bird's Nest, that lone runner you'll see is Craig "Buster" Mottram. He is Australia's best athlete by far; he can actually beat the Kenyans sometimes! Buster was disappointing at last year's World's but was carrying a hamstring injury. If he can run 13th while injured, imagine what he's going to do if he's fit for Beijing! Go Buster!

Spot the Aussie...

20km and 50km Walk: Walking as a sport is absolutely inane. Especially when it's an ass wiggling, hip swaying nonsense where the athletes are in dire need of a trip to Hog's Breath Cafe. Nonetheless two of the Australian men, Nathan Deakes and Luke Adams, are ranked in the top 10 in the World and are medal hopes. I just can't get excited.

Marathons: Don't expect too much from our marathon team at the games. Lee Troop should stick to the City to Surf. Benita Johnson is having her first crack at the marathon...in the Beijing smog. Not the smartest move I would have thought given the best marathon runner in the world, Haile Gebrselassie, is giving the Beijing marathon a miss saying that if he runs he will probably get emphysema and won't be able to sing Happy Birthday to his kids when he retires.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Beijing 2008: Boxing

Boxing in Australia concerns itself mostly with current and ex rugby league players, and to be honest why not. Professional boxing has gone down hill - fast and I blame one man, Mike Tyson. He could have been a contender, he could have been the fucking best. But no, he had to throw it all away for some bitches and hoes. His multiple comebacks to professional boxing in order to pay legal fees, which was hyped up by cross promotional walk on roles in films like Zoolander and Crocodile Dundee 3, resulted in more humiliation as old man Holyfield's ear went flying across the ring. This final act of stupidity left a bad taste in the mouth of most boxing fans as the sport continues to spiral out of popularity with its only lifeline in Australia coming in the form of Choc Mundine and other over hyped, overpaid rugby league players - I'm talking about you Willie Mason. But to talk only about Tyson, Mundine and Hardy would be to overlook one of Australia's forgotten battlers Kosta Tszyu and the beauty of watching two hard man having a dig at each other.

Notorious Olympic boxing winners include Muhammad Ali (1960), Joe Frazier(1964), George Foreman (1968), Sugar Ray Leonard (1976) and Lennox Lewis (1988).

Amateur boxing is the true battle ground of this noble and majestic sport, and Olympics is its pinnacle. Your 2008 Australian warriors are:

Stephen Sutherland (VIC) [48-51kg flyweight]
Luke Boyd (NSW) [51-54kg bantamweight]
Paul Fleming (QLD) [54-57kg featherweight]
Anthony Little (WA) [57-60kg lightweight]
Todd Kidd (QLD) [60-64kg light-welterweight]
Gerard O'Mahony (ACT) [64-69kg welterweight] (c)
Jarrod Fletcher (QLD) [69-75kg middleweight]
Brad Pitt (VIC) [81-91kg heavyweight]
Daniel Beahan (QLD) [+91kg super heavyweight]

Only team captain O'Mahony and team-mate Little have represented Australia at an Olympics before, with the rest of the team young but with blood on their teeth (metaphorically not Tyson style).

Olympic boxing is a mens only knockout competition, with 2 bronze medals (for the two losing semi-finalists). There are only 4 two minute rounds, there is a panel of 5 judges and a point is only awarded when 3 or more judges award a point with in a second of each other - no Lennox Lewis v Evander Holyfield bullshit judging. During a frenzy of blows landing on both boxers, judges only award one point to the boxer who comes out the better of it. A boxer can not be "saved by the bell" and the count will continue until the boxer gets up - except on the final bell. The rules of Olympic boxing are both fair and ridiculous. For example there is a maximum age of 34 (no Holyfields or Foremans clinging on to their past fame) but at the same time facial hair is restricted to a small moustache no longer than that of the upper lip - no beards, handles or chops!

If communism can produce one thing, its Olympic boxers. In the Athens games Cuba dominated winning 5 of the eleven gold medals, Russia winning 3 and the USA winning only one gold, equal to that of Thailand and Kazakhstan. Australia have never won a Gold medal in any of the boxing divisions - ever. Our closest efforts were that of a silver medal in 1908 by "Snowy" Baker and a silver in Seoul (1988) to "Spike" Cheney. In fact Spike's efforts in 88 was the last medal Australia has won in boxing, while the biggest achievement in the sport was that Australian Tony Madigan lost to Cassius Clay (Ali) in the Semi-finals of 1960.

Can O'Mahony and the boys lift gold in Beijing? Not likely, but you know when you watch boxing that someone is going to get the shit bashed out of them - old school, and isn't that what the Olympics are about? Mono v mono, champion v champion, 8 minutes of pain and only one gold medal, fire up Australia, its the Olympics.

BEIJING 2008 Athletics: Track

PART 1: 100m-800m

If we were to discuss the finer points of all 15 track events at the Beijing Games I would be old and grey by the time we finished. So here's a brief overview of each.

100m: Jamaica's Asafa Powell is the world record holder mon but Tyson "I'm Not" Gay is the 2007 World Champion. There is speculation that Powell chokes on the big stage, finishing a disappointing 5th at Athens when favourite and being beaten into 3rd at the World's by Gay. The Americans seem to be trying to convey some sort of subliminal sexual message with Walter Dix joining Gay at Beijing. Australia are a fat, slow and generally white nation. We are without individual representation and relay teams in the both the 100m and 200m in both the men's and women's. Shirvo and Patrick Johnson are our fastest runners and they are old and not really that fast. Shirvo is white and Johnson is not black enough. Tough times.

100m/110m Hurdles: In the 100m hurdles (women's) Sally McLellan is being tipped as a dark horse for a medal for Australia. In the 110m (men's) we are once again too slow. Hopefully there are some awful stacks with faceplants and body parts getting tangled up in hurdles; have a sneaky fiver on McLellan "doing a Bradbury".

200m: "I'm Not" Gay is also 200m favourite. His main opposition comes from Usain "In The Membrane" Bolt and Wallace Spearmon. And where there's Gay, Dix seems to follow. After running the second fastest 200m ever last year, look for Gay to give Michael Johnson's WR a nudge. Australia's last chance to scrape into Beijing in this event was disqualified for turning up to his final tryout like this:

Australia's Daniel Batman; playing silly buggers when he should be trying to crack 20.75s...

400m: This is expected to be a one act affair. Watching this guy blitz his opposition is even more fun with a Swedish race-caller. Go to Youtube and type in Jeremy Wariner, Stockholm for a look. Wariner is tipped to go close to Michael Johnson's WR of 43.13 at Beijing. Aussies John Steffensen, Shaun Wroe and Joel Milburn will be looking to cause a massive upset. In the women Tamsyn "Jana Is Such A Bitch" Lewis will compete for Australia though the 800m is her pet distance.

4x400m: The Aussie squad includes the three guys mentioned above as well as Dylan Grant and Clinton Hill. Thanks to Hill's kick-ass final leg at Athens, the boys were able to grab silver which they'll be looking to emulate. Chance of beating the U.S and grabbing gold...zero.

400m Hurdles: Jana "Tamsyn Is A Slag" Rawlinson's event. She is two time World Champion but is still looking for that Olympic gold after her well publicised injury dramas before Athens. Loves the camera does Rawlinson. Waiting for another poorly timed soap opera before Beijing. Otherwise should be in the mix for the Gold medal.

800m: The best thing about the 800m at Beijing is:

Tamsyn Lewis


Although Tamsyn is the reigning 800m World Champion, she'll start as underdog with the bookies behind Yelena Soboleva. No doubt will start favourite amongst teenage boys though. Australia also are represented in the men's by Lachlan Renshaw.

Next edition: 1500m+