WHY?

You're down by 14 with less than 10 minutes to go in a Super 14 match. You get a penalty 35-40 metres from the sticks. You go for goal. Why? Because you are fuck-tarded. I am sick of seeing this. It's driving me fucking crazy. And now my team, the Waratahs, are waving the white flag like all the other fuck-tarded teams that do this. There is no positive to come out of this option. You kick it, you're still down by 11 and another penalty won't be enough for a bonus point. You miss, like Kurtley Beale nearly always does, you waste time that would have been better spent trying to score a fucking try! You're 11 down...you need tries for fuck's sake! This from a team who sacked their coach because they didn't score enough tries, even though he took them to the Super 14 final. Fuck me.

The Big Questions

Watching the Blues vs Sharks Super 14 match I was left to ponder two questions...a). Who is Mr Price? On many occasions I have returned home from a few quiet beverages with friends at 3.a.m Sunday morning, flicked on FoxSports to find a Sharks Super 14 match from South Africa, and thought to myself "Who is Mr Price? Mental note: google Mr Price in the morning." Needless to say, I have never remembered...until now.

It's more a question of "What is Mr Price?". Mr Price is a South African retail chain specialising in clothing, footwear, accessories, and homewares. They are about "affordable fashion for everyone". They are about "casual fun and relaxed fashion for the whole family". They are about "affordable modern living". They are about Sharks rugby. The Sharks are unbeaten.


And if you go to a Sharks game, you might meet up with a hot chick who actually likes rugby too. A rare species indeed. I think we can all learn something from Mr Price...

Mr Price cap; all the rage. Red Cap Radio is the instore radio station for all Mr Price stores, and this red cap is what Deon wears whilst on air.

My second question is b). What do you do in this situation? The scenario: you're down by 14 in the 73rd minute. You are awarded a full-arm penalty 10 metres out from the opposition tryline and, subsequently, they have a player yellow carded (effectively sin-binned for the rest of the match). You need at least 7 points to get a bonus point out of the match as you have only scored two tries thus far. But, more importantly, you need two converted tries to get at least a draw out of the match. So what would you do?

Anyway, the Auckland Blues slotted a penalty to make the gap 11 points and luckily scored a late try to salvage a bonus point. Why you'd not go for the try with roughly 7 minutes to go, giving you a shot at the draw, a long shot for a miraculous victory, and possibly saving yourself from having to grasp a lucky bonus point as time expires is beyond me. I think it would be fair to say that the Blues could learn a lot from Mr Price, the Sharks, the honey blonde model above, and Deon...

Weekend Highlights

It's the final round of the AFL season but, with the top 8 just about set in stone, most of the attention is centering around Lance Franklin and Brendan Fevola as Carlton clash with Hawthorn on Saturday night. Not since Tony Lockett in 1998 has a player cracked the 100 goal mark in the regular season and it was thought by many that due to the evolution of the game, cracking the ton was to become a rarity. It speaks volumes of Franklin that he is on the verge of the milestone at just 21 years of age. "Buddy" needs two goals and should get them; if he's being well held, I can just see a team-mate passing up a 25m shot in front to dish off to him on the 50. It'd be hard to begrudge him that but hopefully he'll need no help. Fevola also has the chance but needs a big eight goal effort. Tune in to see an historic moment and ten thousand idiots running on the field halting play for half an hour as Franklin boots his second for the night, or alternatively tune in to the ailing Swans vs the choking Lions...

Australia take on the Springboks again after the AFL on Saturday night and will be boosted by the return of Rocky Elsom who was suspended, but then unsuspended today. The Springboks will be without front row thug CJ van der Linde. He was amazingly not sent off after blatantly and obviously head-butting Sam Cordingly in plain view of all and sundry last week, with the referee and touch judges agreeing that he "lead with his shoulder" and the video ref not bothering to whisper in the referee's ear that it was something much more sinister. I can understand that South African props have no necks and the shoulder is therefore joined to the head but he hit Cordingly flush with the summit of his bald, shiny thug-noggin. I see no reason why the Wallabies can't do it again going on South Africa's lacklustre display last week and with the Springboks coach under pressure it's a good time to get them after a loss. Looking forward to seeing what Tahu can do in the run on side. Another thing to remember is that if the Wallabies can win this, then the All Blacks must beat us in Brisbane to win the Tri-nations...here's hoping it comes to that.

The Roosters look to edge closer to a top 4 berth tonight against the Rabbitohs, looking to hold off the Broncos, Raiders and Dragons who are all still a chance of a home final. And the race is still on for that 8th spot to secure a likely trip to Melbourne and the subsequent hiding that awaits. Highlight of the NRL: Alan Tongue at half-back (!) for the injury-ravaged Raiders. Go the Tongue!

Stormers penalty try vs Brumbies

Enter your second nominee for the Hall of Schrutebaginess in two days. Steve Walsh Jr, the referee of the Stormers vs Brumbies match last weekend.

Jr has long been Rugby's most interesting official. Let's have a look at some of his finer moments:

1. World Cup 2003, suspended for inappropriate behaviour towards the English Rugby team. As Jonny Wilkinson said at the time: 'When someone rocks up at your hotel room the night before a big game with a pair of pliers and some electrodes it can be really disconcerting. When it is the referee of the game... well that is just insane.' Wilkinson did mention that he might have been a little more interested if the referee was Tappa Henning.

2. 2005 - suspended for verbally abusing Irish Winger Shane Horgan. That's kind of cool I have to say. The amount of abuse that flows in one direction and all that. Anyway, Horgan is probably the knob in this one for complaining so much. After an exchange of dialogue like this: "Ref you are a fuckwit." "No Shane, you are the fuckwit," I wouldn't complain.

3. A hilarious altercation with the video ref earlier this year (video to follow!)

4. This ludicruous decision for a penalty try against the Brumbies in the last contest. It is almost comical that this decision could be awarded as such. The contact between the two players was minimal. Furthermore, even if there had been no contact, the likelihood of BOBO scoring was minimal. In fact, zero.

Beyond all of that, the play was over! The thrower of the pass was in touch! Anyway, Steve Walsh.. you sir, are a knob.

You can come to my place for the plaque, nut kicking and a years supply of spam whenever you choose!

The weekend of sport, the Wallabies.. etc...

So the Centenary test team in leeague has been picked. I don't know about most of those viewing our blog (HI MUM!) but I don't care to an extraordinary degree. The tests in Rugby league are not the pinnacle of the game, and it is inferior to the Union regardless. What I will say is that the front row is disgraceful. Sure, the Kangaroos will win by 50, so there will be no need to worry about it too much but Webb and Kite?? Wow. Watching the Roast on Sunday morning, Phil Gould cam up with the quote of the ages (in terms of sounding like a spoiled wanker) 'Gallen and Bird wouldn't be even talked about as Kangaroo's if they weren't coached by Ricky Stuart.' Have these former sweethearts fallen out so badly??

A couple of weeks ago, former Wallabies Coach "Knuckles" Connolly discussed a wallabies team for the upcoming tri-nations. The most interesting thing about this was his candid thoughts that, the team that he picked was right on the money and that incoming Coach Robbie 'save us' Deans would have very little to do... Ladies and gentlemen, your first Knuckles apologist is: [drum roll]: KNUCKLES!!

Really, where does one start ringing the changes??? Knuckles real only change to the side that he picked was the front row. Which he tinkered with on a weekly basis. Week one: Dunning and Baxter... week two: lets try Blake and Shephardson... all the while, poor scrummagers like Sharpe and Chisholm sat behind these guys. First thought: If you are changing your front rowers on a weekly basis, and nothing is getting better, you have two possible causes:

a) The front rowers are all terrible scrumagers.
b) The seconds are not providing enough in the scrumaging.

Watching the super 14, an interesting pattern has emerged. The scrums are not getting screwed over. Not nearly as badly as the Wallaby scrum. Except the Brumbies... losers of an inordinate amount of their scrum ball. With a Wallaby Front row (at one stage or another) - Henderson and Shephardson and a wallaby lock - Chisholm. The Waratahs, with the much maligned Matt Dunning on the field have been Australia's best tight five in the Super 14. Dan Vickerman has been instrumental in this. When he has been on the field, Sekope Kepu has been a revelation also. The Reds and Force have been somewhere in the middle of the pack.

My tight five for the first test would be a front row including Kepu, Dunning, Blake? and Freier. For your locks, you could do far worse than some combination of Vickerman, Horwill and Hockings.

As an open memo to Deans, let me offer one piece of advice: If the scrum is going badly after a game, don't change your front three after one effort. Maybe look to the locks. This was not a feature of the Knuckles regime. The development of the Australian front row has suffered accordingly.

A more in depth look at a possible Wallabies team to follow.
As always, enjoy your rugby.

Handicapping the Super 14 Race

1. Crusaders 38

2. Sharks 32

3. Waratahs 31

4. Chiefs 27

5. Stormers 27

6. Hurricanes 26

7. Blues 25

8. Brumbies 24

9. Force 24

10. Reds 16

11. Bulls 15

12. Highlanders 11

13. Cheetahs 11

14. Lions 7



I will give a run home, pessimistic and optimistic forecasts and then do up some tables with my final table thoughts...



1. Crusaders

Run home:

Blues, Sharks, @ Reds, Highlanders.



It is hard to see any scenario whereby the Crusaders don't grab the top spot and home field advantage throughout the finals. The run home starts with two tricky home games, however the last two rounds at Queensland and at home to the lowly Highlanders should be relatively easy money.

Professors tip: 4 W, 3 BP (19P) (58)


2. Sharks

Run home:

@ Waratahs, @ Crusaders, Cheetahs, Chiefs



A brutal two week stretch comes at just the wrong time for the Second placed Sharks. You can put a strong probability on the Sharks dropping their away ties with the Tahs and Crusaders, then a nice rebound at home to the Cheetahs. A lot of the hopes in Durban may boil down to the way that they handle the Chiefs - a team that is getting hot at the right time.

Professors tip: Maybe 2 W, 2 BP +10points (42)



3. Waratahs

Run Home

Sharks, @ Bulls, @ Stormers, @ Reds



How's this for a tipsters nightmare. The Waratahs have been much maligned this year, but still sit comfortably in the top four. Ewen Mc has probably not deserved his treatment as the Waratahs have played above a lot of sensible forecasts already, especially given the state of the front row. Anyway, I'll give them a wins at home to the Sharks and away to the Reds. More than likely they will get one of their away games as well.


Professors tip + 3W, 3 BP +15Points (46)



4. Chiefs


Reds, @ Force, @ Lions, @ Sharks



The Chiefs, like Hansel are so hot right now. They should be even hotter after the Reds come calling on the weekend. The Lions should be a gimme for this bunch as well, so a lot can ride on which Force team they play next weekend. If this team has true designs on a title, they should pick up the first three of these and then they travel to Durban for the battle for second spot.




Professors tip - out on a limb, 4W, 3 BP+ 19 (46)



5. Stormers

@ Highlanders, Brumbies, Waratahs, @Lions


This is your big drop team. They might struggle to get the points away in Otago. To beat both good Australian teams in Successive weeks could be a struggle. Fortunately, the Lions come to town in the last week.


Professors tip: 2W, 2BP +10 (37)



6. Hurricanes

@ Cheetahs, Lions, Force, @ Blues


If any team can make some serious noise in the concluding stages, here they are. The first three games should be gimmes for these guys, and then they visit the maddeningly inconsistent Blues in the final round.

Professors tip: + 4W, 3BP +19 (45)


7. Blues

@ Crusaders, @ Reds, @ Highlanders, Canes


Your trendy pick for the S14 title every year in recent memory has failed to get it together yet again. It's hard to see how this group manage to lose some of the games that they do, for league followers, this is the early 2000's St George Dragons. The Wheels have come off and you have to think that the Cru and the Canes will knock them over. Even the Reds might bring off an upset.

Professors tip: 1 W, 3 BP + 7 (32)



8. Brumbies

Lions, @ Stormers, @ Bulls, @ Force



Time for some overdue credit for the much maligned Fisher King. The King has gotten more out of the Brumbies than anyone could have assumed possible at the begginning of the year. Sadly, it is hard to see them coming up with the four game sweep here that they need to make the final four.

Professors tip: 2 wins, 4 BP (12) (36)

9. Force

Bye, Chiefs, @ Hurricanes, Brumbies

Top four looks totally out of reach with the Bye coming up. Would count themselves lucky to get a win in their games against the Chiefs and Hurricanes. The Brumbies game is a coin flip.

Professors tip: 1 win, 2 BP + 6 (30)

10. Reds

@ Chiefs, Blues, Crusaders, Waratahs.

Will not win another game. Shame, because they have been much improved this year and can hope for a mid table finish next year.

Professors tip: 0W, 2BP +2 (18)

11. Bulls

Bye, Waratahs, Brumbies, @Cheetahs

For a team that many pundits considered a top chance of winning the competition this year, the Bulls can at best play the role of Spoilers for the Waratahs campaign. May take two of the last three (Cheetahs, Brumbies) to finish a poor season on a winning note.

Professors tip 2W, 2BP +10 (25)

12. Highlanders

@Stormers, @Cheetahs, Blues, @Crusaders.

Your early season favourite for the Wooden Spoon will unlikely need more than a couple of Bonus points to avoid that dubious honour. Tipping them to upset the horrible Blues in the second last round.

Professors tip 1W, 2BP +6 (17)

13. Cheetahs

Hurricanes, Highlanders, @ Sharks, @ Bulls.

Will likely get the chocolates at home to the Highlanders. May be quite competitive in the other three games.

Professors tip: 1W, 3 BP +7 (18)

14. Lions

@Brumbies, @Hurricanes, Chiefs, Stormers

An historically awful season. Hard to see them taking more than a bonus point out of their last 4 games.

Professors tip 1BP +1 (8)

So, how do we line up if I get this right... my end of season table looks like this:

1. Crusaders 58

=2. Waratahs 46
=2. Chiefs 46

4. Hurricanes 45
5. Sharks 42

6. Stormers 37
7. Brumbies 36

8. Blues 32

9. Force 30
10. Bulls 25

11. Reds 18

12. Cheetahs 18
13. Highlanders 17

14. Lions 8

So, I have the Chiefs and Hurricanes improving on their current standings considerably, the Waratahs being a chance at hosting a final. The Lions a mortal lock for the spoon.

I think that the run home is going to kill the South African contenders. Given the Sportingbet market (down at the moment, link to come!) Has the Hurricanes and Chiefs as your outsiders of the top group to make the final 4, I think that investing in the two of them to make the top 4 is a sound strategy, and one that I will be doing once the market is up. The Hurricanes at $13 to win the Super 14 is excellent value. If any team can knock of the Crusaders, you have to think it is them.

Anyway, Enjoy your Rugby and Punting...

PC!

Nathan Brown frontrunner for Waratahs job?

Following the news that Ewan Mackenzie is done at the end of the year with the Waratahs, the logical frontrunner for his job looks to be recently sacked Dragons coach Nathan Brown. A contract figure is yet to be confirmed but $1m per year has been mentioned by those with knowledge of the situation.

NEW South Wales Rugby Union chief executive Jim L'Estrange stated that 'in light of our continuing commitment to overpay for every medicore league identity that we can find, Nathan Brown has to be considered the frontrunner for the massive task of rebuilding our franchise.' Lote Tuqiri was excited by the news, but insisted that he would not stay on without a considerable extension to his deal.

In further good news for the Waratahs, Brown has suggested that he might be bringing some of his former Dragons along with him. 'There is nothing concrete this stage,' noted Brown 'but Lance Thompson has always talked about his desire to finish his career in Union.'