Tuesday, December 6, 2011

No More Pies

It's been a huge year for me, marked by two monumental events: the birth of my future grand-slam winning son, and the injury to Mitchell Johnson. It was an amazingly satisfying feeling watching the First Test against the hopeless Sheep Shaggers without having to endure pie after pie being thrown down at one end. In the past, I would tape a whole day's play on the IQ box just so I could flick through Johnson's 20 or so overs of garbage. The only downer about the absence of Yonson was that we were deprived of an extra day's cricket without him there to make game of it. I can live with that...

Anyway, that's the end of him. I'm calling it. With the discovery by selectors that when you give youngsters a go it creates competition for places (who'd have fucking thought?!?), there's no fucking way that clown is making it back in the side. I feel sorry for his WA teammates though...can you imagine just how fucking terrible he'll be after months on the sideline? He can't even bowl straight when he's allegedly fit and 'in form'.

So farewell Mitch. Thanks for the memories. The Ashes no-shows. Having to listen to Tony Greig, of all people, waffle on about your karate-ing missus. Your inability to bowl decently anywhere but the WACA. The way you just released the pressure valve at one end when you came on. But maybe mummy still loves you. Or maybe she thinks you're as mentally piss-weak as the rest of us do. Anyway, adios to you, King Of All Pie-Chuckers...

No more pies for me angled at second slip thanks pal...

2 comments:

SportingMind said...

Thank christ he's gone. I blame Dennis Lillee, who said Johnson was a "once in a generation bowler". But that was what got him selected (and why the selectors persisted with him for so long).

My major gripe with Johnson was that he scrambled the shit out of the seam and generally fucked the ball up by the 5th over. Thank god he's gone - we can now watch the ball swing again.

Fuck you, Lillee.

Professor Chaos said...

Surely there is a value in keeping Mitch around to mentor out young bowlers... you know, teaching them to bowl scrambled seam pies... Under the old regime I could see him being rushed back into the team as soon as fit.

The new regime is dead to me if this happens.