Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Matthew Johns Sacked By Nine

I'm not going to go into the gory details here...type the word "gangbang" into Google if you need some more information. But my concern over Johns' sacking is the probability of more Ikin and overdose quantities of Gould and Voss. Does this mean that Ikin will join the Footy Show panel? Or Gould? The show's made bad enough by Voss, a man who never played any Rugby League of note, and his ridiculous statements. I played Rugby League until I was around 8, am an affable type, and watch every game, every week too, but no-one from Channel Nine has come knocking at my door. Will Ikin be chiming in with even more bleedin' obvious comments during Friday Night Footy matches? "Look boys, the Cowboys are down by 14 with 10 minutes to go...it'd be fair to say they need to be the next to score"...Or will we all be overwhelmed by Gould and his barrage of "Yeah baby".

That's not a high tackle! No, no, no, no, no! Just let the boys play! Back in my day..."

Sure Gus, what do we need rules for, you fuckwit. Or will this all mean we get more of a gangbanger's druggy brother who can't string a sentence together? Honestly, Andrew Johns was a truly great player but he loved his drugs on a Saturday night, and his sideline comments border on autism. And Voss, just 10 secs alone with the man...my right boot vs his balls...oh yeah...

My point is that Channel Nine needs to completely overhaul their Rugby League coverage. It's insulting to viewers to keep dishing up this stuff on free-to-air. Matty Johns, whilst a gangbanger and adulterer, was the only guy on the Footy Show and in the commentary team (other than Rabs) who would make intelligent comments about Rugby League, when he wasn't being an assclown alter ego like Reg Reagan or Percy Le Blanc. But he's gone, along with the Chief, so it's time for a new direction, some new blood, maybe the NSW five eighth in waiting:

No NSW selectors, this is not Kurt Gidley playing out of position...

3 comments:

Shirtman said...

There's a story in the herald today from a "defiant" anonymous rep player who says that group sex romps will keep happening regardless of whether Gallop wants them to or not. What worries me though is how much these blokes seem to enjoy crossing swords with each other. Is it normal to consider sex with one woman and 10 blokes the pinnacle of sexual achievement and worth aspiring too.

Strikes me that you probably see enough of these blokes every day to not also want to be standing next to them while they are on the job...

Captain Carnage said...

Crossing swords, sausage fest, stirring the porridge, ball salad, call it what you will...it's just not cool Shirtman, it's so not cool. Let's talk racing instead!

JB said...

Look I think you would have to be an idiot not to think that with Gould in charge of so many a bonding sessions over the years that players thinking that standing around with your dick in your hand waiting for sloppy 10s is an awesome way to show team pride. I mean Gould screams 'I like to look at other dudes schlongs while I fuck". Like you said shirtman the drama here isn't johns or the NZ chick or consent or balance of power or any of that shit, the problem here is that our best and brightest nrl players aspire to have sex with each other. Regardless if there is a woman in the room or not, that shit is totally gay.