Sunday, August 7, 2011

The Captain Is Back!

After a newborn-baby-boy enforced layoff over the past couple of weeks, the Captain is back! No signs of boganism yet from my little fella, let's call him Son of Captain, something to be thankful for there. I'm pleased to report that swimming as a career path has been ruled out due to his hatred of being bathed, which is great because swimming is bat-shit boring and there's fuck all money in it. My plan for him is definitely tennis; World No. 1, all four Grand Slams, spearheading the Aussie Davis Cup tilt etc. The little guy is already showing some early ability:

Son of Captain showing a solid technique, even at just two weeks of age...

The added bonus with tennis is the lack of boganity in the sport. It will give him an escape from going to Brisbane Broncos matches with his bogan school friends. I've been ironing out my own technique over the last few months in preparation of becoming a supercoach/tennis dad. Just don't skimp on the fish mofo or I'll smash your fucking camera to pieces asshole...Should be nice, travelling the world, hanging out with former tennis legends, smashing cameras/phones, lying down in protest in the middle of the Flushing Meadows carpark, accusing umpires of cheating, psyching out opponents in the locker room...

I'll be in my element..........

2 comments:

SportingMind said...

Well done Captain, channel that inner Damir! Seriously though, get that kid on the local courts ASAP (or, alternatively, spend your life savings and send him to that Nick Bolletteri tennis academy in Florida).

Captain Carnage said...

Thanks SportingMind!

Not sure I can trust Nick Bolletteri to not interfere with my own brand of tennis dadding/supercoaching...plus, that place is full of female Russian teenagers...that could prove too much of a distraction for a young Aussie lad!