Saturday, March 26, 2011

Oh Fuck It....Again!

The original "Oh Fuck It". $899 fully framed...

That last over of the 1999 WC semi final is etched in my memory forever...

Then there was "Oh Fuck It" on home soil. Miscalculating the runs required under Duckworth Lewis. A brick wall defensive block from Mark Boucher, only to realise that they actually needed one more run...

Then there was "Oh Fuck It" Caribbean Style. Skittled for 149 by the Aussies in the semi final...not quite enough...

Then there was 2011. NZ are looking pretty ordinary in the early stages of the tournament. They look completely outclassed when they come up with a paltry 221 in the quarter final. To cut a long story short, Jacob Oram destroys the Jaaapies, despite the fact that he is batsmen first, bowler second. That's right. Jacob Oram.

For the Aussies, well, who didn't see the ultimate demise of our 3-pronged pace attack. After all, it was the sub-continent...the final 10 overs against India saw to it. Shaun Tait in India, what a debacle...but seriously, it's all your fault Krejza...we totallly gave you the chance to win it all for us, but you fucked it...








Tuesday, March 22, 2011

WTF?!?!?

With Wayne Bennett looking set to return to the Broncos next year, the Dragons began auditions for their 2012 coach last night, handing back the reins to Nathan Brown. In a blast from the past, "Browny" had the Dragons players smearing their hands with vaseline pre-game, dropping the ball repeatedly, throwing forward passes, trying to score off the first tackle, chip kicking, chip kicking some more, giving away cheap penalties, letting a Sharks player gain another 20m after an attempted strip gone wrong, putting through more chip kicks, and he also reportedly bitch-slapped Jamie Soward after the game for good measure. Great news for the other 15 teams, we've missed ya Browny!

The Roosters returned to their 2009 form by making so many mistakes in the first half that Manly started to actually believe they could win the game. Everything they learned from last year's run to the GF, out the window. Other under-whelming teams included the Parra-that-no-longer-matta, the Raiders with their big, mean forwards who turned into powderpuffs in the face of the Broncos pack, and, well the Titans have completely forgotten how to play the game in the off-season. Then there's Souths...

They should be good. But they're not. The halves are mostly to blame, followed closely by Russell Crowe. Sutton is suffering from a bad case of "Anasta Syndrome". He is a lock that has been stuck in a number 6 jersey for way too long. Sandow is just not good enough to steer this side anywhere near a Premiership. His decision-making is poor, he's way too pre-occupied with shoulder-charges when he should be focused on leading his team around the paddock, and if Souths are serious about a Premiership tilt, they need a solution in the halves. Rusty Crowe thought that over-paying a centre who gives you 4 or 5 quality home and away games a year would solve all their problems.

Oi! Inglis! I'll give yer a part in me next 'ollywood block-buster!

Inglis' performance on Sunday was one of the worst I've seen by an NRL player. Looking completely disinterested, he was made to look like an absolute clown by Jamal Idris (NSW selectors, please take note). By the way, Beau Champion is killing it down in Melbourne...

Our Cricket World Cup unbeaten streak is over! A pretty unbelievable 34 game streak it was too. Now, with India in the quarter-finals, we might be about to start a different kind of streak. This trio of pace bowlers on the sub-continent thing that the selectors have gone with could be about to fail spectacularly if they don't get it right to the likes of Sehwag, Tendulkar, Yuvraj, Kohli etc. But I guess they've set the whole thing up nicely if it does fail, with Krejza the obvious scapegoat for not single-handedly bowling us to a World Cup win. Fucking typical. It's real fingers crossed stuff...

Lastly and leastly, the award for most useless performance of the week goes to the NSW Waratahs. They were spanked 23-3 at home by a team who don't show any interest whatsoever in trying to score tries, who had never won a game outside South Africa, and who barely win games period. To make your fans sit through that monstrosity, seriously, get fucked! QLD will show you guys how to deal with the Cheetahs this week. That is unmercilessly...

The Cheetahs of all things...WTF is going on?!?!?

Sunday, March 13, 2011

WHAB is back!!!

After an enforced hiatus, WHAB is back people! And I can't think of a better time to come back...Week 1 NRL, Cricket World Cup, Super 15, and the Miracle at Suncorp Stadium. Firstly I need to talk about the Miracle at Suncorp Stadium. This had to happen. I'm sorry Central Coast, you guys played great, but it was meant to be for Brisbane...it would have been an absolute travesty for the boys to get rolled after the season they've had. With 10 minutes of extra time left, I prayed for miracle. I got one. If you haven't watched the game yet, you need to. This city got fucked on by floods not that long ago, and for everyone living in Brisbane town, this was our reward...

NRL notes: Dragons still the team to beat. Roosters a chance, great to see them wrestle back victory from the jaws of defeat at the hands of Rusty Crowe. Rule changes good...referees still bad...Sharks still absolutely awful...

S15: The draw between the Western Force and Auckland Blues prevented a perfect round of tipping for me...

Racing: If you ever see Shocking at $8.50+ for a Group 1 at Flemington over 2000m+ and don't hit that, then you sir, are an idiot...

Cricket World Cup: All I want to say is that splitting points for a rained out match is totally not good enough. Play the match the next day. That's not too difficult. I'm sure the TV networks can figure out the logistics. 1 point each, what a fucking joke...so our game against Canada is rained out...we'll split the points, it's only fair. How about fuck right off?...

Good to be back, plenty to talk about over the coming weeks, no doubt...