You Know It's (Definitely!) Not Your Team's Year When...

On the Rabbitohs last set of six in regular time, Roosters hooker Anthony Mitchell is knocked out next to the play the ball. When this happened to Mick Crocker earlier in the game, play was stopped for 10 mins while he was helped off the ground, stunned, but resplendant in a freshly-dressed Armani suit...Is he okay?...We can hold up the game for a bit longer if his measurements aren't quite right...But anyway, with Mitchell in fucking la-la land, this time, it's 'play on'. Whatever. After Souths complete their set, the Roosters work their way downfield to seemingly set up a shot at the match-winning field goal. Anasta is set to the left, 40m out. Just where he hit that one to sink the Tigers in last year's finals...it's going to Anasta there on the left, that's the play...then, as a still obviously concussed Mitchell staggers into dummy half and fires the ball to the right, and a valiant 42m left-footed attempt from Jason Ryles lands 10m short and 5m wide, as the big fella throws his hands in the air and asks "why the fuck would you give it to me?!?!?', well, you can almost sense that little fucker Sandow smashing over a golden-point droppy from 52m out in the rain...

There's always next year.....

WTF?!?!?

With Wayne Bennett looking set to return to the Broncos next year, the Dragons began auditions for their 2012 coach last night, handing back the reins to Nathan Brown. In a blast from the past, "Browny" had the Dragons players smearing their hands with vaseline pre-game, dropping the ball repeatedly, throwing forward passes, trying to score off the first tackle, chip kicking, chip kicking some more, giving away cheap penalties, letting a Sharks player gain another 20m after an attempted strip gone wrong, putting through more chip kicks, and he also reportedly bitch-slapped Jamie Soward after the game for good measure. Great news for the other 15 teams, we've missed ya Browny!

The Roosters returned to their 2009 form by making so many mistakes in the first half that Manly started to actually believe they could win the game. Everything they learned from last year's run to the GF, out the window. Other under-whelming teams included the Parra-that-no-longer-matta, the Raiders with their big, mean forwards who turned into powderpuffs in the face of the Broncos pack, and, well the Titans have completely forgotten how to play the game in the off-season. Then there's Souths...

They should be good. But they're not. The halves are mostly to blame, followed closely by Russell Crowe. Sutton is suffering from a bad case of "Anasta Syndrome". He is a lock that has been stuck in a number 6 jersey for way too long. Sandow is just not good enough to steer this side anywhere near a Premiership. His decision-making is poor, he's way too pre-occupied with shoulder-charges when he should be focused on leading his team around the paddock, and if Souths are serious about a Premiership tilt, they need a solution in the halves. Rusty Crowe thought that over-paying a centre who gives you 4 or 5 quality home and away games a year would solve all their problems.

Oi! Inglis! I'll give yer a part in me next 'ollywood block-buster!

Inglis' performance on Sunday was one of the worst I've seen by an NRL player. Looking completely disinterested, he was made to look like an absolute clown by Jamal Idris (NSW selectors, please take note). By the way, Beau Champion is killing it down in Melbourne...

Our Cricket World Cup unbeaten streak is over! A pretty unbelievable 34 game streak it was too. Now, with India in the quarter-finals, we might be about to start a different kind of streak. This trio of pace bowlers on the sub-continent thing that the selectors have gone with could be about to fail spectacularly if they don't get it right to the likes of Sehwag, Tendulkar, Yuvraj, Kohli etc. But I guess they've set the whole thing up nicely if it does fail, with Krejza the obvious scapegoat for not single-handedly bowling us to a World Cup win. Fucking typical. It's real fingers crossed stuff...

Lastly and leastly, the award for most useless performance of the week goes to the NSW Waratahs. They were spanked 23-3 at home by a team who don't show any interest whatsoever in trying to score tries, who had never won a game outside South Africa, and who barely win games period. To make your fans sit through that monstrosity, seriously, get fucked! QLD will show you guys how to deal with the Cheetahs this week. That is unmercilessly...

The Cheetahs of all things...WTF is going on?!?!?

Between Gould Rantings And Gallop Reasoning

After listening to Gould do his nut on the Sunday Roast, I have concluded four things. That Brian Waldron is a cheating spin doctor of the highest order. That Gould, despite frothing at the mouth with spittle, put forth a very good argument. An argument which most fans would find it hard to disagree with. But, as usual with Gus, an argument that offers no solution. Gallop, when allowed to get a couple of words in between Gould diatribes, also presented a sound argument. The fact is that the clubs have all agreed to a salary cap. There is only one way to move forward both logically and legally, without scrapping/significantly raising the salary cap, to provide the compromise between the two arguments. A player draft. That keeps the NRL happy by distributing the talent evenly amongst the teams and also prevents a team, let's call them the Storm, who clearly have the best recruiting staff in the NRL, from accumulating a squad which down the track they are unable to legally keep together. Plus, it's simply a good idea. It works for the AFL. It works in the NBA where they even have a draft lottery, so tanking games doesn't guarantee you the first pick. I don't really know why the NRL has never even considered it. Perhaps it's time they did.

Storm Demise

I've been watching the news all night so I'm pretty much over the Storm losing their Premierships and Minor Premierships. It's sad for the players and coaching staff, providing they knew nothing of the dodgy dealings. And hopefully those responsible are strung up by their balls for this as it just might well prove to be the beginning of the end for the Melbourne Storm. But how is it supposed to work with them unable to score any points for the 2010 season? Why should they even bother turning up? And if they do turn up, who's to say they won't have ploughed through the better half of a carton the night before when they've got a care factor close to zero? It's all well and good for Bellamy to say that they're going to stick together and overcome this challenge, but the reality is that there is absolutely no motivation for them to play out the season. Maybe this weekend, emotions might be high and they might put in a brave performance, but I can't see them sustaining this. Particularly with the likelihood that a number of their players may finish the season at other clubs. And how is it fair on the Sharks, Knights, Panthers and Dragons who've already played and lost to the Storm when the two points were on offer for both sides? It just makes one eighth of the matches for the rest of the year farcical.

And to the referees...don't for a second think that with all the Storm drama I've forgotten about you guys.....

Assclowns Of The Week

All NRL refs, video refs and touch judges. You are all fucking rubbish. The more you get paid, the worse you get. Fuck you all. An 80 year old Mick Stone or Greg McCallum would make you guys look shithouse. And they were probably only on a couple of hundred bucks a game. The fans have had enough. Over-officiating, under-officiating, bizarre interpretations of the rules, getting scared of nasty home crowds, pulling penalties out of your fucking assholes, and general blindness and shiteness...seriously, you are all shit human beings. Fuck you all.

Ah, that's been eating me up for some time...I feel much better.....serenity now.

When League Was the Biz

Hey NRL marketing big-wigs:



This is the sort of promo we want to see every year. Any League fan can tell you that. So why do you fags keep dishing up such under-whelming stuff? "Blow that whistle ref" in mother-fucking-deed you deadshits.

An open challenge to anyone who dares on Singstar...

Gentlemen, We Need To Find Us A Scapegoat Again...

As usual, after an Origin loss, Craig Bellamy and the NSW Selectors need to find someone to hold personally responsible for said loss. Terry Campese gets it this time. In his defense, I have seen many far worse Origin debuts. You're nervous early, make a couple of errors/poor choices but finish off the game okay. No you couldn't conjure up any miracles, but it was your first Origin, right? Anyway, as per usual, the selectors felt the need to trot out another old hand...Trent Barrett. I have nothing against Barrett, he'll probably play well, as he has in his side's "hot streak" where they have put away the Eels (14th), the Warriors (11th) and the Raiders (13th); but why you wouldn't give Campese another go is beyond me. They've embarked on a youth campaign, but sadly, and not for the first time, they've not had the balls to see it through. I think it also justs adds more confusion to Wallace's game having a new partner in the halves. Anyway, I hope Barrett can develop some chemistry with Wallace and remembers that his good form has been against rubbish teams, so he'll need to step it up a notch. I just want to end this post by expressing my deep desire to put one right between Colin Love's eyes. I can't stand the man and have no confidence in anything he's involved in. Is it wrong to want to punch an old guy? Even though he's a total douchebag? He makes me want to break stuff...

C'mon the BLUES!!! Give us something!

Latest News

I have been quiet since the announcement of the NSW Origin team; this is possibly because I'm still in shock that the selectors didn't do something completely fucking stupid like they usually do. For the first time in ages, they have picked form players, in their specialist positions, and have resisted "staying loyal" to guys who have been getting creamed by QLD for the last few years. As usual though, they have overlooked a couple of current Australian players in Watmough and Laffranchi...all I can think of is that these guys must be suspected of boning the selectors' wives to miss out. Ennis can consider himself unlucky as well, especially if your name is Professor Chaos, see below. They are very unlucky, but, then again, one can't really argue with the form of the players they have picked in their places. The Campese/Wallace halves combination...I haven't ever looked forward as much to seeing a pairing like this. Hopefully Jennings gets some space to show his blinding speed and he, Hayne and McManus can hold their own against Folau and Inglis. Oh, and Boyd...he's a real monster out there on the wing...A special shout-out must go to Michael Weyman! One look at the before & after and all you can say is "Thanks Wayne Bennett!".

In other news, QLD has picked their standard bunch of homos.

Also, for those of you who haven't yet had enough of the group sex scandal fiasco, check out the Chaser tonight.

The NRL's Biggest Loser

A year ago, he was fat and grossly unfit, given his profession, and also prone to stupidity on the field. He was on the NRL scrapheap. But Friday night saw a new man emerge in the Dragons front row. A lean, mean, hit-up machine. A man no longer limited to 12 minutes playing time. Meet Michael Weyman, the NRL's Biggest Loser:

BEFORE

AFTER


"I was definitely influenced by the reality show The Biggest Loser. Adro was a real inspiration. I also drew inspiration from Jared on the Subway ads" said Weyman, looking surprisingly fresh after his 51 minutes, 19 hit-ups and 19 tackles on Friday night. "Basically, I realised I was too fat and unfit to cut it in the NRL. Neil Henry would be so exasperated when I'd come on and then have to come off again after 3 minutes. Sometimes I'd just punch a guy so I could have a breather in the sin bin. I'd become a bit of a laughing stock, so I decided to do something about it" he said.

Weyman topped the hit-up count against the Storm, running 19 times for a game high 171m and also played an error-free game. More importantly, with his increased fitness, the thought of deliberately getting himself sin-binned didn't cross his mind. "Those dark days are behind me. You know, I think the problem was Canberra itself. It's just such a boring place, I ended up eating and drinking excessively just to pass the time. Now I'm loving the 'Gong and playing under Wayne Bennett. Sleeping in for as long as possible has been replaced with 6a.m runs on the beach. Lounging around playing Playstation has now become pumping iron. And burgers and fries have transformed into a healthy low carb diet".

The rewards are also coming off the field with Weyman set to sign a lucrative contract to become the new face of Weight Watchers.

NRL Grand Final Predictions

CAPTAIN CARNAGE

It astounds me that Manly are favourites for Sunday's season decider. They are certainly a chance to win, but favourites? The Storm looked pretty good to me without Cameron Smith last week, so no problems there. Manly are set up here for a another primetime choke. They are apparently much better than last season despite finishing with roughly the same amount of points on the ladder and instead of beating Melbourne once, they have lost both those clashes in 2008. It is somewhat difficult to line up the form of the two teams because their opposition in the preliminary finals were about as lame as can be. Melbourne looked patchy in their loss to NZ and thriller against Brisbane and then seemingly just had to turn up and let the Sharks shoot themselves in the foot repeatedly. Manly have thrashed the Dragons and NZ, two teams who, at the time of said thrashings, looked like they'd thrown in the towel for the year, and possibly already booked end of season trips for the following week. So who has had the better preparation? I think the Storm. They have been pressured in two of the games whereas the Eagles won far too easily to be comfortable with their lead-up matches. With that in mind, I expect the Storm to get out of the blocks quickly and really make the Eagles players go back to that dark place deep in their minds; memories from last year's grand final. They'll be out to put that nagging doubt through the Eagles and if they get on top early, they'll win. The packs are pretty evenly matched, so looking for some big grand final hits from both sides. Some other grave concerns for the Eagles are the lack of form from Greg Inglis in the last month and Matt Orford's potential kicking game meltdown. I would be very scared that Inglis is just about to light it up on the grand final stage again. And I would be very scared that Orford is once again going to stink it up in a big game.

In summary, Manly are a very good team...but I just don't like them. Plus my old man is mates with Cooper Cronk's old man so my whole family will be cheering on the Storm. Plus I win a small fortune if they get home. Admittedly, the chances of me going for Manly were never good but I am firm in my belief that Melbourne are the better team. And when you consider all of the whereto's and whyfor's in the above paragraph, the Storm are terrific value at $2.10. Inglis for the Clive Churchill medal at $8.50 will do me just fine. Go Storm!

PROFESSOR CHAOS

Manly's favouritism shouldn't astound anyone who has watched them dismantle team after team for quite some time. In a matchup of the two best teams in the competition this year, it is not easy to pick a winner but I will go with momentum and take the Sea Eagles. In the last five weeks, Manly have reeled off 5 big wins. Through this stretch scoring a monstrous 36 points per game and allowing 10.8. In fact, Manly's dominance would be even more apparent if they had had a pulse coming out of the gates this year - dropping their first two games and 3 of their first 5.


If momentum is one reason that I will take the Sea-eagles, the other is some key personnel. Missing Cameron Smith may not look like a big deal when you are playing a thoroughly chokeriffic Sharks side. Against a team which will create pressure with its defence is another story.


And the guy that will play a far less ballyhooed role than Greg Inglis but could have the same impact? That's right, Manly's own Corn-rowed answer to the Rocket-man Rod Kafer:



Getting on to the Rocket man at $34 for the Clive Churchill medal is just common sense. If you think that Manly are the goods to win this one, there are realistically 5 guys you should be looking up for the CC. Take the 1,6,7,9 and the dominating centre.


Matt Orford: $7
Jamie Lyon: $13
Brett Stewart: $8
Matt Ballin: $21
Steve Matai: $34


In the Storm case, lets do the same thing:


Slater: $8.50
Inglis: $8.50
Cronk:$7
Aitken: $34
Folau: $17


There's your 10 guys to "work around." Of those 10, I wouldn't want Orford at $7. Most of the time I hear about Orford's good games, he plays a manager type of role and that is not going to get you a CC! Cronk I would have to think likewise. Brett Stewart and Slater may not see the room that they are used to so I think that you are really looking at 3 or 4 guys. Inglis, Folau, Ballin, Lyon and Matai. Given I am working around a Manly win, Ballin, Lyon and Matai are your guys. Especially Ballin. There has been some long-overdue recognition of his excellent season in the channel 9/Sydney media this week and that seems like it might gain some momentum.

NRL PRELIMINARY FINALS

Sharks vs Storm

After a miracle last-gasp loss, followed by a miracle last-gasp win, the Storm have now lost their captain Cameron Smith. A suspension was fair enough but the NRL can jam their loading system up their ass. Moving on, the Sharks have lost five eighth Brett Seymour, which could be almost on par with Melbourne's loss of Smith. Seymour has been the perfect fit for the Sharks at 6 and I think he'll be missed more than most realise. Thinking back to Major Turdler's stats, I tend to think that the week off won't help the Sharks. A lot of punters are labelling the Storm as vulnerable at the moment...others are just waiting for them to turn it on like we all know they can. We'll find out tonight. Sorry long-suffering Sharks fans, but I'm tipping the Storm.

Sea-Eagles vs Warriors

Rabs: "Welcome to Brookvale Oval, on this lovely evening, as the Sea-Eagles of Manly take on the sheep-shaggers from across the ditch, in the New Zealand Warriors". Ram-rooters or no, the Warriors are the worst possible match-up for Manly after their week off. NZ are on a roll; and try telling Price and Wiki that they can't win this game. The battle up front should be one of the highlights of the season. I hear a lot of people tipping Manly to go on to win the premiership and I hear a lot of their fans talking it up, almost cocky. The should look no further than this. Having myself a piece of the Warriors at $3.15.

A Message To The Referees And Touch Judges

Yeah, I'm talkin' to you.

I don't want to notice you. Stay the fuck out of the game unless it's absolutely necessary to involve yourself. Let it flow you homos.

Why don't you give him 10 in the bin for that too, you douchebag?

Should be two of the season's best contests. Fuck I love footy finals!

Hall Of The Over-Rated: Inductee #3

Joining Johnathon Thurston and Sonny Bill Williams in WHAB's Hall Of The Over-Rated is, drum roll.....Matt Orford!




The Manly halfback held off the likes of Slater, Smith, Campese and Gidley, all of which I would argue stood out far more prominently than Orford this season. I just can't accept that a half with such terrible fifth tackle options and questionable kicking game can win such a prestigious award. Not to mention that he's never been considered good enough to play Origin. At times watching Orford plough the ball over the dead ball line on the last I have to do a double take to make sure I'm not actually watching Daniel Holdsworth. He's not the worst half in the game but there are at least 12 others I'd pick in the 6/7 before him. And there were at least five others that the NSW selectors put ahead of him. And it must also be pointed out that his kicking game is one of the main reasons they have dropped their last three against Melbourne. So Matt Orford, congratulations on joining such esteemed company!

Weekend Highlights

It's the final round of the AFL season but, with the top 8 just about set in stone, most of the attention is centering around Lance Franklin and Brendan Fevola as Carlton clash with Hawthorn on Saturday night. Not since Tony Lockett in 1998 has a player cracked the 100 goal mark in the regular season and it was thought by many that due to the evolution of the game, cracking the ton was to become a rarity. It speaks volumes of Franklin that he is on the verge of the milestone at just 21 years of age. "Buddy" needs two goals and should get them; if he's being well held, I can just see a team-mate passing up a 25m shot in front to dish off to him on the 50. It'd be hard to begrudge him that but hopefully he'll need no help. Fevola also has the chance but needs a big eight goal effort. Tune in to see an historic moment and ten thousand idiots running on the field halting play for half an hour as Franklin boots his second for the night, or alternatively tune in to the ailing Swans vs the choking Lions...

Australia take on the Springboks again after the AFL on Saturday night and will be boosted by the return of Rocky Elsom who was suspended, but then unsuspended today. The Springboks will be without front row thug CJ van der Linde. He was amazingly not sent off after blatantly and obviously head-butting Sam Cordingly in plain view of all and sundry last week, with the referee and touch judges agreeing that he "lead with his shoulder" and the video ref not bothering to whisper in the referee's ear that it was something much more sinister. I can understand that South African props have no necks and the shoulder is therefore joined to the head but he hit Cordingly flush with the summit of his bald, shiny thug-noggin. I see no reason why the Wallabies can't do it again going on South Africa's lacklustre display last week and with the Springboks coach under pressure it's a good time to get them after a loss. Looking forward to seeing what Tahu can do in the run on side. Another thing to remember is that if the Wallabies can win this, then the All Blacks must beat us in Brisbane to win the Tri-nations...here's hoping it comes to that.

The Roosters look to edge closer to a top 4 berth tonight against the Rabbitohs, looking to hold off the Broncos, Raiders and Dragons who are all still a chance of a home final. And the race is still on for that 8th spot to secure a likely trip to Melbourne and the subsequent hiding that awaits. Highlight of the NRL: Alan Tongue at half-back (!) for the injury-ravaged Raiders. Go the Tongue!

SBW's Footy Show Interview

Things I learned during the interview last night:

1. He went for money.
2. He is a "pioneer", he went so other players can one day get more money.
3. He is concerned that bus drivers don't get enough money.
4. His idea of being "ballsy" varies to mine.

Things I didn't learn:

1. Why he penned a five year contract when he was unhappy and had no intention of fulfilling it.
2. Why anyone would listen to Anthony Mundine and Khoder Nasser.
3. What bus drivers have to do with rugby league.
4. Much at all. In fact, I feel dumber for having had to sit through it. The thing's I do for WHAB!

And just one dollar for every "you know what I mean" during that interview...

To David Gallop and the NRL,

It cannot be allowed to go on anymore. And no, this has nothing to do with Sonny Bill Williams. On one issue in the game, I find myself actually agreeing with Phil Gould; the NRL’s stripping rules need to be overhauled ASAP. The current interpretations of these rules are anyone’s guess. Having eight different referees and video referees every week with differing viewpoints on what a strip is, certainly can’t be helping. But that can’t be helped because of the rules themselves. It’s at the point where defenders are getting penalised by some of these video refs when they have accidentally knocked the ball out in the tackle. That is farcical. The policing of the stripping rules has disintegrated into a confusing mess for not just officials, but fans, players, and coaches. It’s a no-win situation when defending players are penalised if their hands are in contact with the ball at the moment when the opponent loses control, but if they don’t wrap up the ball, the attacking player can offload. Who came up with this ridiculous rule anyway? If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. It was unwelcome to start with and now the grey area keeps widening.

The simple solution is to abolish the current stripping laws and put the onus back on the attacking player in the tackle. There is no reason why players shouldn’t be allowed to rake the ball in the tackle whether there be one or five tacklers. In the ruck, i.e. after the tackle is completed, “held” is called, and when the player is in the act of playing the ball, then there could be a strict hands-off policy on the defenders. This would not only ease confusion for players and referees but it would help to clean up the ruck area. At a time when many are bemoaning the fact that teams are controlling the game by controlling the speed of the ruck, surely a hands-off rule when the ball carrier is playing it will alleviate some of the problems. Teams would still need wrestling coaches unfortunately as the time a defender is allowed in the tackle is dependent upon whether the tackle is “dominant” or a “surrender”. The time allowed by these calls should not be permitted to extend after the “held” call as happens at present. In the tackle, it’s game on. The tackled player must protect the football and the defenders are given the appropriate amount of time to work the tackled player. When “held” is called, all hands, feet, and torsos need to be out of the play the ball area immediately (I’m pretty sure that was the original intention of the “held” call). This would also see an end to the overly harsh penalties against players not getting to their feet properly to play the ball when they have a defender all over them.

The lawmakers of the NRL need to bite the bullet on this for the betterment of Rugby League in this country, or if for nothing else, then for common sense.

Yours sincerely,

NRL Fans Against Stupid Stripping Rules (NRLFASSR) throughout Australia.

Wednesday afternoon rantings...

The first thing to get out there; We'll Have a Bowl favourite Phil Gould has been stepped down from interviewing David Gallop on tomorrow nights NRL footy show.

The feud started (or continued) over some pretty heated words on Triple M radio on Monday night, where Gallop was being interviewed and Gould called in and was quite hostile towards Gallop. It is some hilarious audio.

Gould sounds like a complete douchebag. More hilarity is the jock "journalist" using phrases like "the fair dinkum department."

I am not sure where I stand on this mess. On the one hand, Channel Nine looks somewhat weak by allowing the NRL to dictate who interviews it's chief executive. Some would suggest that the NRL is using Channel Nine as its mouthpiece. One wonders if Alan Fels would have jumped in when he exerted Hoover-esque control over the nation's media back in the 90's.

However, the other side is equally valid. Gallop has no responsibility to be interviewed on the Footy Show. Thus, as an interviewee he is entitled to expect courtesy and the opportunity to present his arguments. It seems quite unlikely that this opportunity would be presented by Gould. If I had the choice, I would sidestep Gould as well. Imagine, a fired up Gould, centimetres from your face. Repeating "I told you so," "I told you so" whilst you smell nothing but Kielbasa, Old Spice and Shame. No thanks. And you know he is a spitter. I heard from a friend of a friend of someone who knows the cleaner at Nine that they have to airbrush all of the Gould footage to get the spit out of camera.

Anyway, contrary to what the last 200 words would suggest, I don't really care. I'll be watching the Amazing Race which is always good.

Memo to Channel Nine: if you want to win the ratings battle on Thursday nights, something more like the Sunday Roast would probably help. If I wanted to watch middle-aged jocks make douchebags of themselves I would go to a different high-school reunion every week.

The Captain made the point: "no one thinks highly of Nathan Brown enough for him to be overrated." I refer him to this: Sure it was written by the guy who replaces Phil Gould in my "to kill list" over the summer, Robert Craddock, but there it is. Seriously Robert Craddock, for your crusade against the most visually appealing batsman I have ever viewed, I will kick you in the nuts one day. Maybe tomorrow. But probably not.

The Captain's 2008 Pretenders/Wannabes

Here's my team selection for most overrated players in their position:

1. Nathan Meritt
2. Taulima Tautai
3. Brent Tate
4. Krisnan Inu
5. Matt Utai
6. Jamie Lyon
7. Johnathon Thurston (co-Captain)
13. Jacob Lilyman
12. Sonny Bill Williams (co-Captain)
11. Willie Mason
10. Nathan Cayless
9. Mark Riddell
8. Carl Webb

14. Nathan Hindmarsh
15. Roy Asotasi
16. Andrew Ryan
17. Brett Finch

18th man: Nigel Vagana/Steve Simpson

Coach: Michael Hagan

Just cannot put Hunt down as the most overrated fullback. Whether you're a fan of his or not, the job he does is priceless. I've gone for Merritt. I guess Souths don't have another fullback option at the moment. He's small, not fantastic under the high ball and not as effective at no. 1 as he was parked on the wing and topping the NRL tryscoring list. It's harsh on Merritt because if you go through all the teams there aren't any truly terrible or massively overrated fullbacks. Utai the biggest no-brainer in my team. Awful hands and wastes time/allows the defensive line to get set whilst trying to milk a penalty every single time he gets tackled. Tautai, I just don't see much in him. Looks shaky with his hands as well and I'm not sure how Luke Burt gets dropped before Tautai. Joining International Incurable Neckitis Foundation spokesman Tate, is Krisnan Inu who has done absolutley nothing this year. If you're detecting a strong Parramatta undercurrent here that's because they deserve it on this year's display. Jamie Lyon will always be overrated. No matter who he plays for or in what position, but especially in the 6 jersey. If Finch was still at 6 then he would have got it but he's moved to 7 where he's a clear second behind Thurston. Lilyman has to be there for his inexplicable selection for QLD. He's a Cowboys bench player at best and they are coming last. Second row was relatively easy although Mason and Williams were challenged by a fading Hindmarsh. Front row sees a fading Cayless who's talked a better game than he's played this season, linking up with the ever-overrated Webb and his 30 mins per game. The out of shape Riddell who seems to have become even slower and more lazy packs in at hooker. The bench consists of Hindmarsh and Ryan. You've got to feel a bit sorry for Ryan because his team is rubbish in 2008 but I swear I've seen him actually give up in matches this year. Within reach of maybe holding a player up over the line he makes no attempt and down goes the head again in the huddle. What a difference a year makes; Asotasi gets a place on the bench. Has barely looked better than Scott Geddes this year. His stats are okay but he is supposed to be the number one prop forward in the game. If Lyon is proving too effective at five eighth then Finch can be brought on to add more "leadership" around the park. The man loves to point people in all directions. Vagana is another Rabbitoh who has contributed to their unimpressive season with mediocre form. Enough has already been said about the NSW selection of "Mr. Invisible" Steve Simpson. Both he and Vagana are on standby. And finally, Michael Hagan, who has failed to inspire one of the most talented sides in the NRL, is coach. His only idea about what to do; drop Luke Burt. Brilliant. That fixed everything as the Eels showed in their blowout 16-4 win over a third-string, last in the league Cowboys.

The most overrated team in the NRL

Controversy time...

Trying to put together the most overrated team in the NRL actually took a lot more thought than I felt it might. There were a couple of walk up starters, I will get to them in time. But coming up with a couple of wingers, a hooker and a few other positions was quite a tough one.

Anyway, on to the team.

Fullback: Until Slater really burst out this year, this would have been an easy one for me to pick. I still think that Slater is not far and away the NRL's best fullback. Brett Stewart really pushes him and Hodgson is probably a candidate for the most underrated fullback in the game. Overrated; it has to be Karmichael Hunt. Getting an Origin berth over Slater and an Australian jersey over Slater, Hodgson and Stewart is a shock.

Wingers: The NRL's highest paid turnstile Amos Roberts joins Luke Rooney who has been on holiday since his contract extension of 2003.

Centres: The million dollars or so that the Warriors forked out means that someone must be overrating Neck model Brent Tate. He is excellent, maybe in the top three players in the game. But Shimmy Whoosh Gasnier has to land here. If anyone can make the Channel Nine commentary team forget about SBW it is Shimmy Whoosh.

Halves: 6 used to be so easy, Braith Anasta used to be far and away the games most overrated player. However, that can't seem to be the case any more. Yeah, he was found out in origin game three, but noone seems to class him as an upper echelon player any more. Plus, he is probably as good as he has ever been! So your 6 can only be one man, Benji Marshall. Always injured, recovering from injury, not very involved in games due to his risk of getting injured again. You get the point. Sure he can step, but with his fibreglass frame and lacking the distributive skill of others at his position makes this a no brainer.

Joining Benji in the halves is the undisputed leader of the most overrated team in League. Johnathon Thurston. Allegedly the greatest player in the game. I can't see it. I have never seen it. Revolving door defence. Looks great behind a top pack but can't get it done behind anything less.

Props: Mark O'Meley gets the starting nod here. Fortunately overrated by everyone BUT the NSW selectors. Joel Clinton joins him here. Overrated by Joel Clinton so much that noone else's opinion matters.

Hooker: Mark Riddell. His 40 minutes of playing time in a position where 80 is expected. That 40 minutes of playing time might include 20 of quality. I openly challenge Mark Riddell to a race around the world. I don't get paid to play sport. I'll beat the Pig because he will stop every hour for Fried Chicken.

Second Row: Willie Mason must be disappointed here. Most thought he was a shoe-in but he sometimes is just as good as the press clippings suggest! Your Kiwi-Western Sydney-Le Blue duo of SBW (TM) and Frank the Tank Pritchard are your walk ins here. The Captain just wrote at length of the Overratedness that is SBW (TM) so I won't say anything but that I CONCUR. The Tank (All rights Reserved) is cut from the same cloth. A second rower that moulded his game on Nathan Sharpe, the TANK sits out wide and makes the occasional booming run against a tired forward or more often a player half his size. In defence the TANK is often AWOL. Can the Panthers win a match without that TANK being man of the match?? Not if Ray Warren and Gus are involved.

Lock: Not many overrated guys in the 13 this year. Best I can do is Ashley Harrison who probably shouldn't hold down a starting role on a team with so many stars in the back row. Never should have played Origin...

Carl Webb gets the reserve prop spot. I can't believe I forgot about the Webb. I'll even throw a (VC) next to the Webb name on the team sheet. Joining him Jason Ryles another who I can't believe I overlooked for a starting role. Overrated props are certainly abundant this year! Add Michael Crocker whose sole skill seems to be being a complete cockbag and rounding out our team Nigel Vagana who manages to bankrupt the Rabbitohs for no real output.

This team will be coached by the NRL's newest supercoach, Nathan Brown. Brown gets credit for his outburst last week but too little, too late. Something else for me to heckle you about next time you collect a winner's cheque and trophy at Doomben.