Saturday, December 5, 2009
WORLD CUP DRAW LIVE AND INTOXICATED!!!
South Africa "welcomes us with open arms"...just try stepping outside of Jo'burg airport...
The entertainment is a cross between Play School, Lion King the musical and Milli Vanilli armed with an electric guitar (not plugged in)!
Am I that drunk or is Nelson Mandela speaking Swahili?!
You suck Sepp Blatter. I abhor you...
It's a love story, baby just pay me lots of cash...
Where do we kick off? I'm only the President of FIFA, how the fuck would I know?!
The chick hosting this has things growing from her ears...
Africa this, Africa that...all the while Blatter is getting his balls licked under the table...
Said chick hosting had those things cut off...
Charlize!
Okay, enough already. I haven't slept for days. Let's get on with it. It's nearly 4am here. Fuck the shy homo leopard mascot. God, what a faggot mascot. Enough. Let's draw motherfuckers.
Elephants are cool though...they got skillz!
This is getting increasingly homosexual...
Clear as mud!
Group A: South Africa, Mexico, Uruguay, France
Group B: Argentina, Korea Republic, Nigeria, Greece
Group C: England, USA, Algeria, Slovenia
Group D: Germany, Australia, Ghana, Serbia
Group E: Netherlands, Japan, Cameroon, Denmark
Group F: Italy, New Zealand, Paraguay, Slovakia
Group G: Brazil, Korea DPR, Cote D'Ivoire, Portugal
Group H: Spain, Honduras, Chile, Switzerland
There you have it: Germany, Ghana and Serbia...looks pretty tricky but could have been worse...discussion forthcoming...!
Monday, June 15, 2009
Show Some Respect!
What were these idiots doing when this was on? The man is a fucking national hero! A national hero should be able to drink as much as he pleases without being harassed by wanker pub staff. How dare these assholes throw him out! Fuck you Trademark and your bonehead security staff! Tim Cahill is the fucking best!
Thursday, October 16, 2008
What A Night!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
WHAB's Pre Game Show: Australia vs Qatar
Captain Carnage: Brazil 'A', I mean Qatar, are definitely one of the better sides in Asia. If you take away the two hidings against Australia their results are as impressive as any of the other Asian nations.Having a washed up '70's rocker like Robert Plant wannabe Bruno Metsu at the helm definitely helps their cause as his outfit of jeans and sports jacket seems to inspire players wherever he goes.
I can't even wear jeans to work! This is one of those games you can worry about because of the ease of our last two victories against Qatar and football being a funny game and all. But I have faith in the Aussie boys and the Pimp to get the job done. I'll be happy with 1-0 to be honest. Go Socceroos!!!
JB:Well tonight promises to be a match up that could go two ways, namely, they score an early goal and play a 10-0-0 formation, or we go on to continue to maintain Qatar as our bitch of the Asian confederation. No Kewell, no matter; the Qld fans will be there to support Roar captain C. Moore back in the Socceroos lineup and there isn't a roos fan who won't sell their first born to see Timmy Cahill in action in the green and gold. Prediction, tough to call, hope for a great home ground start to the campaign, fear the Brazillian come Qatar players who easily have the potential to poach a goal. The Pimp wants to top Guus as the most succesful Australian coach, the pressure is on and will be on at every qualifier. I like the integration of A-league players but at the same time I trust Pimp to pick a team to get the job done. Pimp for PM, well that is at least until ... I dare not say it. Those there at the ground or watching at home, be sure to keep an eye out for yours truly jumping and screaming in a stadium full of Australians.
Well JB and the Captain are off to Suncorp to make lots of noise, lots of camel jokes and to drink in celebration of another glorious victory for the green and golds!
Saturday, August 16, 2008
WHAB's EPL Preview!
Arsenal: League leaders for the first half of the 07/08 season, the Gunners are one of the serious contenders for the title. New signings include Bischoff and Nasri and you know these guys will be good; Arsenal are very good at unearthing and nurturing talent. They have lost Hleb and Flamini but should be able to make the necessary adjustments to their lineup. The Gunners play attractive, attacking football and are always great to watch.
Players to watch: Adebayor was second only to Ronaldo in the goal scoring tally last season and will be right up there again. It all looks so easy for him; expect him to nonchalantly knock in 20+ goals this season. A healthy Rosicky always makes for good viewing and van Persie is another to keep an eye on.
Prediction: 3rd. They will likely be the best to watch up front but will be tested by the better sides in defence and will let in some sloppy goals to bottom half sides.
Prediction: 5th. They have what it takes to jump ahead of Everton in the pecking order but it will depend on getting a good start to the season.
Players to watch: Roque Santa Cruz. Has the game to match his cool name. A constant threat at set pieces. McCarthy joins him up front in one of the better striker pairings in the league.
Prediction: Will possibly struggle at the start of the season adapting to the new manager but their class should should see them finish in the top half once more. A 9th place finish sounds about on the money.
Player to watch: Elmander. He'll need to fire up front.
Prediction: 15th
Players to watch: They are all good. Drogba is probably the best of the best. Deco should also shine.
Players to watch: I'll never forget Simon Hill's call of "Tim Cahill's done it again!!!" at the World Cup after his second against the Japs. He is a hero to all Australians. We love you Tim Cahill! Get well soon!
They've also picked up Australia's other football hero Mark Schwarzer and a host of other handy players. They took the hint and brought in new faces, knowing they were lucky not to be playing Championship football this year. You can have nothing but admiration for Roy Hodgson and the miracle he managed to conjure up in 07/08 and things look a lot brighter for the upcoming season at Craven Cottage.
Players to watch: Andy Johnson. A gifted striker, just what Fulham needs. And Aussie legend Schwarzer in goal!
Prediction: Could be the big improvers and push towards the top half of the table. We'll say somewhere around 12th.
Player to watch: Geovanni was unable to crack into Manchester City's starting side and it will be interesting to see what he can do with more time on the pitch.
Prediction - 4th. If you can find a market where you can bet on Liverpool's exact finishing position, snap up the short odds of a 4th place finish.
Players to watch: Torres. And Torres. And Keane. Oh, and Torres as well.
Prediction - another clean sweep over Man. Utd, getting hammered twice by West Brom, maybe taking a point off Hull and Stoke, a horrible form slump followed by an unexpected thrashing of Arsenal at the Emirates, culminating in missing out on Europe by one spot but getting into the UEFA Cup again via the much easier "fair play" route. Around 8th.
Players to watch: Jo, Elano, and in particular Bojinov and Petrov. That is, if they actually stay at City. We may end up finishing 2008/2009 with all the uncontracted Olyroos rather than Brazilian and Bulgarian internationals. No-one ever seems to know what's going to happen with this clown Thaksin.
Players to watch: As well as Berbatov, United have Ronaldo, Rooney, and Tevez, all of whom I would kick square in the nuts if given the chance. I can't stand those three, Tevez in particular, I would kick him again in the nuts as he was writhing in agony on the ground. They also trot out old-timers like Giggs and Scholes as well as the younger brigade of Nani, Evra, Hargreaves etc and have one of the world's best keepers in van der Sar. Take your pick as to who to watch.
Prediction: 2nd. I slightly favour Chelsea this season on the off chance they add Kaka to their squad. And whereas Chelsea will pound City unmercifully, United may slip up again.
Players to watch: They do have a couple of handy strikers in Tuncay and Alves who will be fed crosses from Downing on the left side.
Prediction: 12th to 17th.
Prediction: 11th
Prediction: Let's say 10th. They will miss Muntari but they still have a very capable squad, a cunning manager in Redknapp, and have been top half material for the past two seasons. Can't see lightning striking twice in terms of the FA Cup...
Players To Watch: Defoe and the classy Kranjcar. And definitely watch for the most ungainly striker in the world to make an A Grade assclown of himself on numerous occasions.
Stoke: Newly promoted and expected to go straight back down. Their key signing is Dave Kitson who is a handy striker but is certainly not going to hammer 20+ goals home. And that's how many they'll need from him. Haven't done nearly enough to prevent them returning from whence they came.
Prediction: Pain, relegation and a 20th place finish. A couple of almighty hammerings to boot.
Player to watch: Kitson will be top goalscorer for the club barring injury but his 5 or 6 goals won't be come close to saving them.
Players to watch: Hmm...I haven't been able to sit through a Sunderland game from memory...New signing Chimbonda perhaps? They must be boring if all I can come up with is a defender. But seriously, Diouf is always good value, not in terms of his play but his exemplary sportsmanship. I give him 20 minutes into the season opener before he spits on someone or gets sent off.
Prediction: 15th
Prediction: 6th
Prediction: 18th. Should put up more of a fight than the two noobs. After all, they've been in this position numerous times before.
West Ham: Snuck into the top half in 07/08 and should finish between 10th and 14th in this campaign. Have signed defender/midfielder Behrami but lost a couple of players to Fulham and look to be just trying to consolidate on last year's efforts.
Players to watch: Ljundberg and Ashton if they can both stay healthy.
Prediction: 13th. A handy squad but perhaps over-achieved a little last season.
Wigan: Another team that have made a few changes but nothing of note. Given they were nearly relegated last year you would think some bigger changes would be in order. Like Sunderland and Bolton, Wigan can't afford to slip up to the bottom three teams or they might find themselves being in the bottom three. Not a particularly exciting team to watch; I won't be picking many matches involving Wigan on Viewer's Choice.
Prediction: 17th
So that leaves us with a league ladder at season's end looking like:
1. Chelsea
2. Manchester United
3. Arsenal
4. Liverpool
5. Aston Villa
6. Tottenham
7. Everton
8. Manchester City
9. Blackburn
10. Portsmouth
11. Newcastle
12. Fulham
13. Middlesbrough
14. West Ham
15. Bolton
16. Sunderland
17. Wigan
18. West Brom
19. Hull
20. Stoke
Chelsea champions, all three newly promoted teams taking the drop, and Fulham the big improvers.
Enjoy the season and best of luck to your team!
WHAB.
Friday, June 27, 2008
2010 Asian Qualification Campaign
2010 World Cup Qualification
Basically 10 nations remain in the hunt for the 4 full and 1 half world cup spots available to Asian teams. Namely Australia, South Korea, Iran, Japan, Saudi Arabia, Bahrain, Uzbekistan, North Korea, United Arab Emirates and Qatar. Tonight's draw will divide the 10 teams into 2 pools of 5 teams. The two top nations of each pool will take the 4 full WC spots. The two teams that finish third in each pool will play off against each other for the half spot. The winner out of the two third placed teams will then battle the winner of the Oceania region for a world cup birth.
The draw works by splitting the 10 teams into 4 pots based on rankings. Currently Japan and Saudi Arabia are equally ranked 4th. And as such a preliminary draw will be held to separate the two teams. One team from pots' 1, 2 and 3 and two teams from pot 4 are selected to form each of the two pools. As it stands
Pot 1: Australia, South Korea
Pot 2: Iran, Japan/Saudi Arabia
Pot 3: Japan/Saudi Arabia, Bahrain
Pot 4: Uzbekistan, North Korea, United Arab Emirates, Qatar
Australia will therefore be fortunate enough to escape battling South Korea for qualification but, depending on the luck of the draw, could face Iran, Japan, Uzbekistan and North Korea. Alternatively if the football gods are in much of our favour as Mohamed bin Hammam (AFC president) is suggested to be, then Australia could have a slightly less challenging task in the likes of Saudi Arabia, Bahrain, UAE and Qatar.
Tentative dates for the next round of qualifications are:
Sept 6: Bye
Sept 10: Away
Oct 15: Home
Nov 19: Away
Feb 11: Away
Mar 28: Bye
Apr 1: Home
Jun 6: Away
Jun 10: Home
June 17: Home
It has already been arranged that Australia's' last home game will be against the team that is ranked just below them, either Iran or the winners of the preliminary draw between Japan and Saudi Arabia. Given that there is a good chance that this will either be Iran (the team who knocked us out of the 1998 world cup or the Japanese who ended our limp Asian cup debut and whom Australia racked up their first World Cup finals victory, there should be nothing for early ticket holders to whinge or complain about. And at the end of the day we all want to jump and scream in a stadium full of Australians - wearing our green and gold!
Friday, May 16, 2008
FA Cup Final Preview:
Wembley Stadium
If you had picked this match-up for the 2008 FA Cup final then you would no doubt be on a tropical island sipping expensive cocktails instead of reading this. But you didn't and you aren't so let's have a look at our finalists starting with Portsmouth.
After knocking out Manchester United at the quarter final stage, Pompey qualified for the final with a 1-0 victory over newly promoted West Brom Albion in the semi. It's been a big effort to get this far after releasing their top scorer Benjani at the end of the January transfer window to free up the funds to sign Jermaine Defoe (who is ineligible for this after turning out earlier in the FA Cup for Tottenham). So Portsmouth go into this match down on strike power but with many classy players through the midfield with Nico Kranjcar, Lissano Diarra and Sulley Muntari running the show. The backline is strong with Sol Campbell and Sylvain Distin the backbones along with keeper David James. Expect manager Harry Redknapp to have a calculating game plan with the right balance between steady play and flamboyance. For the uninitiated, Portsmouth are a Premiership side (they finished 8th this year); this is the top league in English football.
Cardiff City on the other hand are a Championship side (finished 12th); sounds really good but actually means they are in the league below the Premiership. They earned an unlikely finals berth by eliminating Middlesborough on the road before taking out Championship strugglers Barnsley. Cardiff have an FA Cup winner in their midst in Robbie Fowler - who won with Liverpool in 2001. They also have former Chelsea striker Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink so they have a lot of big match experience. Their manager on the other hand is a worry:
It's hard to see Cardiff winning this with a sooky, tentacled sea creature-man with a crab leg at the helm. But stranger things have happened in football.
This should be a tight contest and a nervy one early. One goal might be enough to win it. I fancy Portsmouth to be strong late in the match so Cardiff will need to start well. Coverage starts at 10.30p.m Saturday night on SBS and 11.30 on ESPN with kickoff at midnight.
Betting at 90mins:
Portsmouth $1.78
Draw $3.40
Cardiff City $4.90
FA Cup winner:
Portsmouth $1.34
Cardiff City $3.25
Monday, May 12, 2008
EPL final week
My beloved Rovers had the chance to eke out an UEFA cup birth but were slaughtered. By Birmingham. By Birmingham. Wow. At least the Rovers managed to slip past the Captain's Man City as Man City were sodomised 8-1 by Middlesborough. Seriously. Birmingham managed to drop out of the Premier league in spite of their last day win as Fulham defeated the Smouth 1-0 and Reading were obviously too strong for Derby.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Where's the Kudos
In an email sent to both the FFA and SBS in February, yours truly put forth the idea for creating a domestic cup competition similar to that of the English FA Cup. In March of the same year FoxSports released an article detailing how Ben Buckley had come up with this masterful stroke of genius (see above link). Furthermore it was I who suggested to SBS the idea of an evening football show to compete with the likes of the AFL and NRL footy shows on channel nine. Miraculously, a new entrant on the Thursday night football arena was created.
Now I'm not solely here to blow my own trumpet, but I question how many of the new initiatives to be employed in next years A-league competition were sourced from fans with no credit given. I can not imagine it was the fools at the FFA who came up with the great idea to hold the final on a Saturday night. A move that will hopefully also urge NRL to drop their ridiculous Sunday night grand final.
I'm however glad to see that a cautious approach has been taken by the FFA with regards to the two front running entrants from Queensland, the Gold Coast and Townsville, with the door held very much ajar for second teams from Melbourne and Sydney. It baffles me to think that the Victory is the only team from Victoria while NSW has three teams. After accounting for the new teams to join the competition, Victoria will still have only 2 teams as apposed to 4 from NSW and 3 from Queensland. I'm just going to throw this out there, but a team from Singapore would have to be in the sights of an expanding A-league.
The new announcement to create a marquee youth player at each club valued at $150,000 is one that leaves a bad taste in my mouth and surely straight from the FFA desk. Veerbeek got plenty of media when giving the truth about the state of competition in the A League, and now the FFA are trying to say that this will stop the 'player drain' and improve the League - bullocks. $150,000 AUD is nothing compared to the Pounds/Euros on offer overseas. Furthermore, should we really be trying to hold back tomorrows stars from gaining experience and even more importantly coaching, that they just can't get in the A-league. Obviously there is concern that the A-League will evolve into nothing more than a playground for retiring former greats, a short stepping stone for talented youth and the pinnacle for many below average midle-age Australian players. Well, what did you expect? The A-league should be striving to become an elite breeding ground for future overseas based stars, Australian or otherwise. The A-league can't compete with the EPL or the likes and it shouldn't. Policies surrounding youth marquee players need to be binned, and policies that eliminate the below average middle-age players of the game need to be adopted. Put the $150,000 per club into expanding the quality of the coaching, furthering player development and better scouting for YOUNG international players. Don't hold back talented youth - breed more, and give them a competition to show off their skills before making us proud OS.
Its great to see the FFA adopt policies inspired by the fans - just give us the damn credit. At the same time it pains me to see the FFA try and come up with its own policies (such as the youth marquee) that will hurt Australian football. To be sure the lesser of the two evils is for the FFA to just use the Fans' ideas and for the love of the game stop trying to come up with their own.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
We Want Sven.
The form slump began with City struggling to find the back of the net. They had lost Valeri Bojinov to a serious knee injury in the Manchester Derby earlier in the season and had released Rolando Bianchi after he was not quite able to fit in. Elano was then injured. This left City with very few striking options and worse was to come. Petrov was suspended and down went the back four one by one. No doubt Thaksin was upset at the weekend when the side let a two goal lead slip to lose against Fulham but things like that can happen when you have a striker/midfielder (Elano) playing right back. The man simply has no troops to choose from at the moment.
Sven has done a very good job with City. Any fan wearing sky blue will tell you this. He also did a fine job with England although no-one from England will admit as much. How the English thought they were going to win it all without the technical ability and skills of the likes of Italy, France and Brazil and lacking creativity through the midfield was a tad bemusing. A World Cup quarter final? Is that all we can come up with? Well, quite frankly, yes, that was a good result for that particular squad.
Manchester City fans everywhere are outraged by this decision. After being lucky enough to attend City's home win over Aston Villa I could sense just how much the blue half of Manchester revered and admired the man. We are waving goodbye to a well-spoken, quotable, successful and enormously popular manager who was given only one year to prove his worth after building a team from scratch. And Thaksin has been hopelessy outnumbered on this one, not just by the fans, but the media, and more importantly the players as well. The players love playing for him and are reported to be shattered by his impending departure.
Just hope your club is not next to be taken over by an irrational and naive fool from a country that knows nothing about football and who has far too much money and time on his hands.
Mark Viduka: A musical tribute
Mark Viduka
He come on strongly,
He come dribbling up quickly
He got oh-ah ball skills
He one ball player
He got skills down to his knees
Got to be Viduka,
He just do what he please
He wear no shoeshine,
He was built for football
He got golden slippers,
He shoots all the goals
He says 'I know you, you know me"
One thing I can tell you is you want to be him
Mark Viduka, right now, number one
His goal production,
He got midas touch,
He got bono singing,
He one keeper beater,
He's got girls down on their knees
Hold you in his gaze, yeah you can see where he's been
Mark Viduka, right now, number one
Mark Viduka, yeah
Mark Viduka, yeah
Mark Viduka, yeah
- Fade out -
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Rammed at "Pride Park". Again. And again.
Well it's almost over for the worst side in English Premier League history. On May 11,
We’ll start with Fulham. They are four points adrift of 17th placed
So there you have it.
Who will rise from the Championship? Not sure. For the two instant promotional spots,
My heart says
My head says
Monday, April 7, 2008
Quote of the day
Sven Goran Eriksson on rumours that Ronaldinho could be headed to Manchester City next season.




