Tennis World Cup.

Okay, first up I want to say that I do not condone the further promotion of this media storm in a tea cup that has all been paid and organised by those trying to make money by doing nothing more than what all of us do every friday night, namely, have a few beers and solve the problems that plague our beloved sports. That out of the way lets get stuck into the heart of the matter. Davis cup, in its current form is shit, attracts little attention and great potential exists to improve it. Ipso facto a world cup of tennis has merit. Alas the Hird cup announced recently is shit. In fact I would go as far to say that the proposal put forth by J. Hird is a world cup winning shithouse proposal. So here is WHABs friday beer solutions to the world cup proposal.

1. Bi-annual? bi-fucking-gay more likely. If your are serious about world cup sporting events then stick with the traditional every four year format.

2. Substitutions? WTF, I'm about to substitute to watching the world cup of fucking darts. If we are trying to create a world cup of tennis then let them play tennis.

3. Reduced sets. Okay, this has some merit, best of 3 sets, short deuce and best of 9 tie breaks aren't bad, but half the fun of tennis is watching guys run off their feet, delirious, vomiting and not giving an inch after 4 hrs of slugging it out. At this stage I would leave it on the table as a possibility but its not the answer.

4. Replace D.C? As stated above the current davis cup has little going for it, but instead of trying to replace the tradition of davis cup with a marketing gimmicke, lets just improve and build upon the D.C.

5. One 10 day tournament with every country turning up for a tilt? Qualifications people, regional qualifications work a treat for football, why move to a one off tournament? Well, true it may exclude some individual stars but a 16 team world cup finals tournament would cover your most stars from most tennis rich nations.

6. Tournament structure. My preferred structure would be a 16 team elimination format. 4 macth ups to hold aloft the world cup trophy.

7. Games played. As stated earlier, the whole idea of subs during a game really sickens me, but playing a 4 x singles, reverse singles and potentially a doubles could be overwhelming within a single tournament. However, to win a grand slam takes 8 matches, and nothing to stop a team from fielding different players from one match to another, nor fielding specialist doubles players. So no, I don't think it overwhelming, and for fucks sake its one in four years.

8. Hird. Lastly, and I know I'm not alone on this one, no fucking hird association, no fucking bullshit marketing spin doctor rubbish. One of the greatest sporting moments in history for me was the collapse of the bombers. All the talk was who could stop the emerging dominant dynasty of essendon? who indeed. Lions threepeat, thats a dynasty you smug essendon wankers.

" Come on boys, theres enough here for everyone"

World cup tennis, yes, but not with any association with this ass bandit!