AFL GRAND FINAL!

It's fantastic that the two best teams in the AFL have successfully negotiated their way through to the Grand Final. The Western Bulldogs and St. Kilda couldn't have played any better than they did last week and, in all honesty, if one of those sides had of made it through, I would have been far less interested in the game. This has the prospect of being a classic. So here's what the punters at WHAB are predicting, consuming and pondering for the last Saturday in September.

Who will win?

Captain: I tip Geelong but not with overwhelming confidence. GF experience could be a factor.

Professor: I grew up watching my mighty navy Blues teams take these two sides apart in finals. However, I retain a massive hatred of the Hawks for the audacity they showed in winning one of the GFs that was rightly ours. I hated their clownish 80s teams of Brereton and Dunstall and Tuck. As such, go Cats.

Norm Smith Medallist?

Captain: I would be all over Paul Chapman at $15 but he is not 100% so looking for some more value. Cam Mooney is paying a juicy $34 and Cameron Ling is at $17.

Professor: A Geelong player. Don't come here for actual analysis. This is not my game.

Choice of beverage?

Captain: With an NRL Preliminary Final and another night of EPL action to follow, starting this early calls for the sugar and caffeine boost of Johnny Walker & Cola pre-mix.

Professor: Battling a stomach virus for the last week so if there is no change there some peppermint tea. If there is, I will be at the pub and it will be my favourite James Squire Golden Ale. Even the thought of that at the moment is making me pretty sick.

Snacks?

Captain: Red Rock Dijon Mustard and Honey chips.

Professor: Right now, thinking Salada. Again, without the explosive vomiting, I would be thinking of a nice $5 pub steak and chips with Pepper sauce.

What will you do instead if the game becomes lopsided?

Captain: Will try for some daytime sex, after being turned down will flick over to Sky Channel for some Spring Carnival action.

Professor: Will already be 50/50 split between the horses and the footy.

Who will you be cursing the most?

Captain: The umpires. Most times I watch AFL, my enjoyment is ruined by faggy umpiring decisions. Let the game flow you homos.

Professor: Glen Boss.