JOHNSON WATCH

He just seems to be always lurking in the background of Australian cricket. Playing the odd ODI or T20 to remind us he still exists. Just loitering on the fringes waiting for others in the Test squad to succumb to injuries. And then you think to yourself, "well they've tried this Johnson thing a few times before now, surely that's that"...

And then this clown writes this: http://www.cricketcountry.com/cricket-articles/Australia-need-Mitchell-Johnson-now-more-than-ever/30825

And George Bailey says this: http://sports.ndtv.com/the-ashes-2013/news/213146-george-bailey-backs-mitchell-johnson-for-ashes-return

And then some people try to pretend that he is made of stern stuff: http://sports.ndtv.com/cricket/news/213880-mitchell-johnson-relishes-crowd-taunts-adam-voges

And everyone starts blowing their load because he is bowling really, really fast: http://www.abc.net.au/news/2013-09-14/johnson-vows-to-put-england-on-back-foot/4957980

Perhaps forgetting that this super-fast, super-scary bowling returned 0/64 off 9.3 overs in a chase of just 228...

Perhaps forgetting that he is FUCKING RUBBISH.

LET ME REMIND YOU ALL ONCE AGAIN: