This is not to say that the batting lineup that will be trotted out for the third test will be watchable. While there is probably some semblance of the top six that will go to the Ashes in Cowan, Warner, Hughes and Clarke - the long awaited test match return of one Steve Smith should fill everyone with dread. Glen Maxwell also appears to be a Smith level douche.
Say what you will about this rabble though, at least they did their fucking homework. To me, what speaks more about this "homework" assignment is that most of the squad did do it. Ed Cowan spent five minutes doing his homework. David Warner spent half a day opening Power Point. Or got Cowan to do his. And then stole his lunch money.
To me, that a couple of senior players didn't manage theirs demonstrates that these senior players may be a big factor in the malaise that seems to have struck this team in the last six months. That two guys who have spent the last month ghost writing Michael Clarke's tour diary couldn't do this is even more damning.
If the message from Arthur was along the lines of:
- We've been comprehensively smashed in the last two tests.
- Morale is broken.
- You might not like the idea of putting together 5 powerpoint slides that explain:
- what has gone wrong;
- what you need to do better; and
- how we can pull together to win the Ashes.
- But it's important.
- And if you can't do this, then you are a big part of the problem and can fuck right off.
Rather than blaming the system, as ex-players are wont to do, one could simply make the case that Australian cricket's poor results in the last six months have more to do with a general lack of elite talent and a tough schedule - South Africa at home, India away - that this team isn't up for.
5 comments:
What could Khawaja and Johnson possibly contribute on how they can improve...They didn't even fucking play! "Fuck I really should have got that Gatorade out to Clarkey sooner"!!!
P.S. Sucked in Johnson.
True that... but then they should have had some time on their hands.
Clearly they are being given reasons that they aren't getting picked. Their PPs could be how they could fix the weaknesses in their games?
I agree Professor. I mean, how long does it take to construct a power point with words to the effect of:
We need to:
Bat Better.
Bowl Better.
Field Better.
Talk Better.
And generally stop being so shit.
Honestly, it doesn't take a fucking brain surgeon, and for fuck's sake, these guys are elite athletes who really know and understand their game intimately. Why the fuck should they be doing this, it is school boy shit, not a team vying to be in the upper echelon of world cricket. and why the fuck is it not just addressed and talked through within the team as it should be... how much personal reflection do you need for the realisation to dawn on you... wow, we are fucking hopeless. I don't buy this crock of Management 101 bull shit.
You don't inspire and motivate as a leader by pulling this sort of bullshit. There may be a cultural problem, that is partly because of a youngish team, and is directly correlated to an absolutely pathetic lack of leadership, both at captain and coach level. Clarke's batting record may be phenominal, and his tactics i am happy with. But his greatest legacy will be his inability to unite this side, he will destroy a once great team, it is already fractured, and will continue to be, because of his puerile favouritism, personal vendettas, elitist private school boy bull shit. He's a self absorbed and selfish little boy - with an inability to be impartial. He should not be a selector, whoever came up with that idea is a fucktard. Clarke can go fuck himself. Along with Mickey Arthur.
Anonymous, I think you've covered just about everything there except for Clarke being a selector as one fucked up idea dreamt up by some incredibly fucktarded individual. No wait, you did get that...
Anyway, it's Steve Smith Time!
If Wade is healthy, maybe you could play Haddin and Wade and have S Smith carry the drinks.
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